Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Comparing myself to others

A friend just complained that I am always comparing myself to others and I need to stop doing this. I admit that I am stuck trying to cope with my feelings about life being unfair and bad things happening to good people. I am also jealous of those with seemingly fewer problems than I. The biggest question of all is "Why did my husband have to die and leave me alone?" and the answer is "Why not me? If not me, who else?" I have recognized that when life was going well and I wasn't on my own that I didn't compare myself much to others. It is only since widowhood and divorce have entered my life that I have been comparing myself and seeing the disparity in people's lives.

For whatever reason I am at this place right now in my grief journey. It is no doubt intensified because we are facing such economic pressures as foreclosure. I think for that reason I am even more likely to compare myself to others. The more problems in your life, the more people there are with fewer ones so it seems as thought everyone else has it better than me.

I'm trying to work through these difficult feelings and not brush them aside because that would defeat the purpose. But if anyone out there has dealt with this in the past and has ideas on how to move past the comparisons, please let me know.

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