People magazine is one of the subscriptions I had to cancel due to cost and lack of time (they'd pile up so quickly because it is a weekly). But once in a while if I see an issue that is worth the $3.99 price I will get it (and they are only a $1.00 at the used book store). Today in the grocery I didn't even flip through the 4/20 issue. It immediately went into my cart when I saw the beautiful photo of Kelly and John Travolta and the headline "Living with Grief." In this issue also, is a smaller mention of Liam Neeson. I hope these brave and lovely people know at some level how much they will help educate the general public about grief and loss because they are celebrities. And how they will give hope and strength to others also facing such losses because we can identify with a familiar face.
The stores are so crowed today. People had filled carts with ham, beautiful flowers, eggs, and pastry goodies (cakes in the shape of lambs or bunnies, cookie flowers). The people looked somewhat distracted and busy. I truly hope that those who see the People magazine or choose to add it to their cart will be struck by the realization of what is truly important as they gather with loved ones tomorrow.
Today I am grateful:
1. For the new day that dawned (although I am still pretty down as evidenced by all the comfort food I bought at the grocery - noodles, mini donuts, sweet rolls, banana bread mix, lemon poppy seed muffin mix, pudding and jello mixes . I have visions of eating noddles with butter for dinner and eating a heated sweet roll oozing with butter accompanied by a cup of hot tea).
2. For the power of choice. I have the power to choose to eat a sweet roll with butter or take a walk in the park. The fact that I am choosing the less healthy of the two does not negate the fact that at least I have a choice.
3. For being shown new ideas on how I can get through this. I was reading a little when I first woke up from the book "Tough Transitions - Navigating Your Way Through Difficult Times," by Elizabeth Harper Neeld and was struck by a woman's comment highlighted in the book. She said, "During difficult times, we all do different things to help us heal. I found that in my own life, during my darkest, worst days, my therapy was to bake." Thank you Ellen Rose for showing me there are an infiite possibilities for me to grab on to - maybe I'd find baking far more nurturing than eating sweet rolls with butter.
4. For having a friend willing to change plans and come up with an alternative in lieu of our celebrtating Easter with my family because I do not feel up to being with my relatives right now.
5. To have this same friend say, "That's okay" (he'd still stick by me) when I told him I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to get out of this current funk and what if I am in it the rest of my life?