November

My absolutely favorite poem is by John Updike from his "A Child's Calendar." It is fitting to copy it down here as it is about the month of November. I have always been so moved by these words but they seem even more poignant now having just ended my week of grief anniversaries. I guess you could say that I am more tuned into my grief work and everything I see, read or hear can be related to some aspect of grief/loss. What I love about this poem is that it describes the bleakness of this month with beauty. And that is how I am viewing grief right now. It is bleak, hard and grueling to say the least. But underneath it all, scraped to our very souls and bones, there is a beauty there as we grow, become stronger and do the work of transforming ourselves.

November

The stripped and shapely
Maple grieves
The loss of her departed leaves.

The ground is hard,
As hard as stone.
The year is old,
The birds are flown.

And yet the world,
Nevertheless,
Displays a certain
Loveliness-

The beauty of
The bone. Tall God
Must see our souls
This way, and nod.

Give thanks: we do,
Each in his place
Around the table
During grace.

If ever there was a month to describe grief, I think it would be November. The darker and colder days; the sense of losing time and energy; the desolate landscape. And yet even in this gloomy month, a holiday of thankfulness and joy. Two contrasts. Like our grief. So much pain and loss - but also when we come right down to it, gratefulness for the time we did have, the children born of that union, the memories remaining forever.