Friday, November 13, 2009

Behind and Ahead

"Although there are many things behind us, some of them wretched and sad and painful, there's also so much ahead of us, so much to look forward to, so much yet to come."

I read these words last night before going to sleep from a new book I started, "Man and Wife" by Tony Parsons. I was so struck by them I repeated them over and over. I was in particular moved by the words "wretched, sad and painful" because I think they so aptly describe my husband's death, the years that followed and then my divorce.

I was reading out loud to GF and told him if we marry I would like these words as part of our vows. In fact, these words are from the section when the main character is getting married himself. GF and I both have our losses. We are not starting out fresh, bright and new like a shiny penny. Believe me, I see us more as a dull and scraped coin. But that part about so much ahead to look forward to, so much to come. A perfect description of the reality of what has been but what remains open to the future. I just love this sentence! It says it all. The reality of the past and the hope for tomorrow. Maybe those two old coins can be shined up a bit and smoothed over.


  1. if i've ever needed anything like furniture or books, i've always gone to the second hand shop and the used bookstore. old is better in so many ways. it has lived. been passed around. there is texture and history to old things. they have survived. the symbolism of that always carried weight for me. new is nice. old is best. my "two cents."

  2. I totally agree with your observation. All of us now have become big consumers of the Goodwill and resale stores. When I was first widowed I saw myself as a kind of scuffed piece of leather luggage. The leather was a bit worn in places but very smooth and lovely. I guess I still see myself in that way a bit. Leather doesn't lose its value as it ages - with use it becomes more durable/flexible.