Thursday, July 16, 2009

Tired of Being Tired

I am busy cleaning the house as we have two showings tomorrow. The inside will be pretty decent but I haven't gotten to the garage or the backyard where the weeds are waist high! Oh, well! I can only do what I can on my own here (our yard is double-sized).

I am exhausted and not sleeping well. I am tired of working (on the job and at home) - it seems as though I have very little down time and seldom time for myself. I haven't knitted in ages, nor browsed at the bookstore (both cheap thrills for me). I am promising myself that next week I will do both, plus have lunch with my girlfriend and visit a new antique shop.

I have been experiencing an almost constant migraine the last few days and I just want all this house stuff over, finished with and behind me. It is impossible for me to keep up with everything and I feel as though I am breaking down in spirit, hope and confidence. This is not how life is meant to be lived - constantly struggling to keep up and never being able to measure up.

I am tired of being tired.

Today I am grateful:

1. For all the summer shades of green present in just the leaves on the trees - from yellow greens all the way to deep forest greens. Utterly amazing! This alone makes me believe in the power of miracles because just the different shades of green seen in the leaves is one right before our eyes!
2. For summer rain storms.
3. For the cooler summer we've continued to have.
4. For Vera Bradley purses and bags (although I am too poor to get one this season, I still see and admire them).
5. For paper plates that don't have to be washed (I use them year-round to cut out one small task from my chore pile).

3 comments:

  1. i can feel your exhaustion through your words here. i am rowing a similar boat but enough about me.

    i don't really believe any of us were born for or meant to be so beaten down or used up, but in my darker times i sometimes ask myself that question. intellectually i know the answer. emotionally, i answer differently. right now, i hurt to much to admit to it.

    i'm sorry for your migraine. the additional physical pain must drag you down so. my neck and back have been such a bother to me this last week, bending over the sewing, agony. but you have your list of things you're grateful for. you have promises to keep to yourself, lunch with a girlfriend, an antique shop visit to look forward to. getting out of the house.

    "heroism consists of hanging on one minute longer." you did it. there goes another minute. and another. you're officially a hero. you didn't realize that, did you? =o}

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  2. Melissa in Boston, MAJuly 17, 2009 at 2:57 PM

    Just try to take the best care of yourself that you possibly can during these tough times. That's not the most eloquent thing to say... forgive me... I'm tired today too. ;-)

    Hugs,
    m

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  3. Man, do I know that "tired of being tired" feeling. Here's hoping it lifts soon ...

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