One of the bad things about working is that I'm not home for nine hours and the boys have to fend for themselves. I feel as though I am not in touch with them - when I get home I am so exhausted I just collapse after getting everyone dinner. Then I go to bed early or frantically clean because of the house being on the market and tomorrow is the house inspection.
When I got home yesterday, I saw a memorial card from a funeral on the table and saw that it was for a teenage boy. I was not aware of a student in our community dying because I have been at work nonstop and haven't been keeping up with the news. It turns out that a friend of my oldest son since 7th grade died last week. While I was at work, he got dressed up and found a ride to get to the wake on his own. While there, he stood by his friend's open casket and talked to his friend's father for 30 minutes. He related that he patted his friend goodbye and that many of the kids there could not even approach the casket.
I was blown away by my son's maturity and actions. That he handled paying a tribute to his friend on his own without any assistance from me is amazing. But then to have the composure and strength to talk to his friend's grieving father for 30 long minutes is even more impressive!
I asked my son if he is more comfortable with death because of his Dad dying when he was 10 and he agreed with that. He did cry at the service, which I think is good.
I hate this job that takes me away from being with my boys when they need me but if I had been at home I would have driven my son to the wake and funeral. My not being there has shown me the depth of his character and soul. There aren't enough words to express the pride I now feel for this young man who has suffered so much but can also give so much.
Today I am grateful:
1. That there is still money left in the checking account with payday a day away.
2. That my son showed respect for his friend and his friend's family.
3. That both boys have been able to make mature decisions while I am working so although I worry, I also trust them.
4. For my job that does put food on the table.
5. For my sons' strength and perseverance.