Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Still Falling

The reason we were denied state health insurance coverage is that with the part-time retail job I've taken on to try and save the house, I make too much income (about $200.00 over the qualifying limit; although that might have changed now since they've cut my hours). Anyway, to get insurance through my pension plan will cost $600.00 a month! So, I don't have many options available to me except to go without insurance for the time being. I don't care about myself - it is the boys I have concern about.

I guess I can also consider quitting the job; asking them to reduce my hours for the next month so I can reapply for the state coverage; keep looking for full-time work. All of this is daunting because it is on top of the worry I carry around every day about our situation, not to mention that I still have to figure out if the house can be sold and if I file for bankruptcy. Handling this all on my own in addition to caring for the boys and trying to keep up the minimum with the house (plus cooking) just seems overwhelming right now.

I would not wish this life on anyone. It seems so unfair that a family already devastated by the death of their husband/dad would have to continue to endure such struggles.

I'm passing on the gratitude list today because I just need to be with my sorrow.


  1. Insurance is a blessing and a curse. I hate dealing with it/them, but not having it can and often does bankrupt people. I remember when I first got divorced and was covered using a COBRA from my husband's account. I applied to get my own insurance and was denied. I remember the total panic and sick feeling I had thinking I couldn't be insured. I was lucky enough to go full time not too long after that and based on that employment was picked up by the very company that denied me!

    It's not fun to be alone, and it would be nice to have someone to help out around the house, but it is the money issue that has always panicked me the most and for which I have the most sympathy. I wish there were something more substantive that I could do besides wish you well. . . but I do, I wish you the best!

  2. Your kindness goes a long way in helping restore my soul. I have never not had insurance - I have never experienced such financial woes. This situation has certainly given me greater compassion for others out there who have walked or are walking in my shoes. Now I really understand why some people felt they had to stop working when they were on welfare - it wasn't that they were lazy or trying to get a free ride - it was because the system penalized them in certain ways!