Wednesday, May 27, 2009


Today I took my oldest for his driver's license which he has waited nine months to get - but no one informed me that he'd need to show his social security card and we couldn't find it. So we spent the day waiting at the social security office to apply for a duplicate, as well as some time at State Farm finding out what my car insurance rate will increase to with adding my son as a driver (an increase of $80.00 monthly). We also spent some time going over my life insurance coverage for the boys because I want to add coverage for them so they will have money to cash in/borrow against in 15 years. My folks were unable to give me any kind of monetary assistance over the years and with all that has happened financially I want to provide something for the boys in the future.

It was a long and drawn out day. My son was upset that he has to wait for his license and I am worried about the increased financial pressure. I also thought a lot about my disorganized lifestyle which resulted in not finding the social security card in the first place. Over the past five years there hasn't been much time or priority given to organizing my house and affairs. I've made much progress over the past months, especially with all of the financial stuff but certain records and documents have fallen through the cracks, such as my son's social security card.

It seems as if every day there is another reminder of the difficulties of widowhood, for me at least. It would just be nice to have a day run smoothly for a change and to not have our problems become even harder to work out. Having to run to the social security office when you're already so pressed for time is one task I could easily cut from my list.

But in the end, I guess what is important to focus on is what was accomplished. The replacement card will come within two weeks and it buys me another 14 days to not have to pay that extra car insurance!

Today I am grateful:

1. For being able to sleep and recharge enough to face another day.
2. For food.
3. For air.
4. For not freaking out about the missing social security card and hopefully modeling for my son that sometimes you have to wait for things.
5. For the green leaves in the trees and the still blooming Spring flowers.


  1. Good for you for not freaking out. I know from your other posts you've been struggling with money - maybe your son can get a part time job to help out with the extra insurance.

    (BTW, I found your blog through Stella's. I'm sorry for all you're going through right now. And I can relate a little on the sx dys. It can really do things to one's self esteem and be very isolating, even when "it's not your fault".)


  2. Thanks for commenting and I really appreciate your reference to the sx dys. That has been a pretty difficult aspect to deal with because it is not something you can readily discuss with anyone who hasn't experienced it. I debated not talking about it (and a friend of mine was upset when I posted on it) but I really wanted it out there because it was a part of my life and I wanted others to be aware of it. Thanks again!