I cannot bear to write a depressing post today. Obviously my same problems exist today as they did yesterday, I just want to think about something else for a moment.
I love to cook and especially bake but that hobby has really taken a back seat the past five years. One reason I am able to continue my interest in knitting is that I can carry small projects with me to all the baseball and other events I go to with the boys. Many days over the summers we are out of the house from sunup to sundown. But an oven is not transportable.
Recently I had a hankering for banana bread and came across a recipe in a British cookbook called "Comfort Food." This one was for chocolate banana bread with yogurt and allspice. The picture looked divine so at the store this week I added bananas and yogurt to the cart. Today seemed like a perfect day to bake. I'm at home concentrating on cleaning the house as a realtor is coming tomorrow. Also, the clothes dryer is not heating and I had an appointment for it to be repaired. The dryer repairman came sooner than expected and when he left I thought about the banana bread mix I had in the pantry. I decided to make that instead of the homemade recipe and did so, throwing in a handful of mini chocolate chips since the boys like that.
Making the mix was so quick and easy - one bowl, no measuring flour and cocoa powder, etc. The end result was not as good as what I'd have baked on my own but still pretty tasty, especially still warm from the oven with a cup of Constant Comment tea. Such a small act of nurturing to myself! Just what the doctor ordered! I am glad it has caused me to remember one of the lessons I learned from my husband's death - that it is really all the little acts and blessings that end up mattering in life. I don't want to lose sight of this even as I have to deal with the reality of the looming financial issues.
Today I am grateful:
1. For being able to compromise and whip up a box baking mix and not get down on myself because I took the easy way out for more instant gratification.
2. For doing the best I can everyday.
3. For the hug my older son gave me last night and the "Love you" my younger son said.
4. That my sons and I can talk together about having to leave the house and so far they are not freaking (although no one is jumping up with joy about all this).
5. For gardening gloves that save your hands from those horrible, tall, prickly weeds that take over the garden.