Some of the realizations I have been recently experiencing relate to the issues of complicated bereavement and how grief does not just vanish after the first year or with a marriage proposal. Each loss builds upon previous losses - that is one of the reasons I am so hesitant to transfer the boys out of this community and their high school. Our grief journey has been full of numerous losses and disappointments. These boys had a stepfather who talked the talk but didn't even have the decency to say goodbye to them. There's another loss and really abandonment. The financial struggles and having to leave our home are another.
Also, are there limits to what a person can experience? When does another loss become the one that breaks your back when you've had so many? I mention this because all grief and loss is hard. But those of us struggling financially without supportive family have different challenges to bear than those who don't have the same circumstances.
I guess what I am trying to articulate is that it is just not so easy to fully recover and move forward after such losses. Hollywood makes it look a lot easier and smoother than it is. And, I truly believe that the general population and especially those who haven't experienced much hardship do not realize all the complications resulting from the death of a significant other.
Maybe times are changing. Maybe people losing their jobs and homes with the Recession will result in some good by increasing the general public's overall compassion and understanding for others. Maybe that can extend out into the universe so we all become more tolerant and loving to all of humanity. Nice thought...