Sunday, March 22, 2009

Some things are just not going to get done

At dinner out with my girlfriend on Friday night, I told her about my youngest son being very upset with me for missing the information needed for him to sign up and work as an umpire this summer for our park district youth baseball program. The fact of the matter was that by the time I had opened the information sheet outlining the requirements, we had already missed some of the necessary training sessions. He would therefore, not be able to meet the required three sessions. At that point, I discarded the idea of his umping and figured if we are still in the area next summer, he can do so then.

One of the problems I've had as a widowed mom has been the inability to keep up with the mail on a timely basis, as well as a severe lack in time to keep organized and up-to-date. I will admit that I have paid bills late because I have forgotten them or lost them. My case is more of an exception than the rule because after my husband's death I was thrown into having to care for my sick son and then sick parents. I just couldn't keep on top of everything - it was hard enough just trying to manage and forge my way as a widowed mom. Caring for my sick parents especially and then having to clean out their home pulled me under. A lot of the contents of their home ended up in mine because there was not time enough to go through it - we were only given two weeks because of a fluke in the closing. As a result, for almost a year, boxes were stacked up to the ceiling in my downstairs hallway. It is only now with the prospect of having to sell my home that I have undertaken the hard task of going through and throwing out their belongings. I don't think I could have even done it right after my Mom's death. I needed time to heal so I could have the ability to toss things out.

This morning I have been at it and the breezeway is almost empty of all the boxes, bags and baskets that were there when I emptied one of my two storage sheds. The progress is slower than I'd hoped or anticipated, probably because as a widowed mom I only have so much time and can't rely on a partner for moral support or physical assistance. My goal is to have the breezeway totally clean by this week.

But back to the baseball umping. My girlfriend wisely commented that in our lives (she's divorced) we just have to accept that some things are not going to get done. And in this case, that means that I opened up the Park Dist. mailer late (because it didn't look urgent) and as a result my son won't be umping this summer. Perhaps a blessing in disguise, because who would have to be driving him to and fro all across town if he was?

Today I am grateful:

1. For the wisdom and life experience of friends.
2. For my ability to face the ghosts of my parents and my childhood in going through their personal effects - better late than never.
3. For the courage to do things my way, even when others criticized me for not just tossing out all my parent's things sight unseen. I had to accomplish it on my terms.

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