Monday, January 31, 2011
This weekend, it was finally warm enough to take a wintry walk in my beloved little forest preserve. But now we're back to a winter blizzard warning to hit Tue.-Wed. I am surprised at how quickly the month of January went by. And for that I am grateful. January has long been my most dreaded month what with the cold and snow. The bed is extra large and lonely. It is dark early and dark upon awakening. It is the month that the pain of widowhood hits me harder, the month I feel most drained, discouraged and down. I hate the extra worry and anxiety about driving in wintry weather and now have to worry about teens driving too on icy covered roads. Although I love knitting scarves, I don't much like having to always bundle up. Winter adds too much to my already full plate and with the arrival of spring, there is such relief in having to "carry" less around. This is the season when I so much miss a partner available to help clean off the cars or run out in the snow for the needed milk...
I am aware that the month went by more quickly on account of my father's death and my son's involvement with the state talent contest. Maybe those were small blessings in disguise - despite the stress, those distractions that helped me focus on other things besides widowhood, January, winter and the blasted cold weather.
There is a sense of relief in closing the door on January and opening it into February, even though it is coming charging in and may be the biggest storm in the past decade. I made it through the cruelest month!