Thursday, January 6, 2011

Small Surprising Graces

Yesterday I went to the knit club and had another great evening. The top photo is a crochet pattern from Annie's Attic I am starting work on. I am going to make it into a picture instead of a pillow to frame and place in my kitchen (I collect bird houses and love birds). I sat with two members at the club and got into an extensive conversation about the need for having a job one feels passionate about. I am so glad to have been connected with this group. I also met a woman at work (a customer) who came in and in talking together learned she was widowed, then divorced after remarriage in part, due to problems between her new husband and her two teen sons. We exchanged phone numbers after we also found out that we both collect the exact same type of vintage glassware. I'm not sure how much contact we'll have since she lives an hour away but it was good for me to meet another remarried widow my age who got divorced - sometimes I feel like I'm the only one out there.

After work today, I had a few minutes of spare time before picking up my oldest from school and stopped at the Barnes and Nobel for another browse, thinking maybe I had missed the desktop calendars. Lo and behold there was an entire table of them! I had three kinds I liked to choose from! When I checked out I mentioned that I must be going batty because I'd just been there Monday and there were no desktop calendars to speak of. Luckily, my sanity is preserved because I was told they had recently opened up some stock in left over boxes in the back which is why they were now out and hadn't been out on Monday. So I get to return the cherry design! Yeah! I don't need to win the lotto to be happy - just let me have a cute calendar to carry throughout the year!

Then, when I picked up my son, he told me that this afternoon he was chosen to represent the school in the athletic conference as a student adviser in volleyball. Each school in the conference picks one student in each sport. It seems to be a pretty big honor. Another notch on his college resume/application. He also told me that he has finished the music composition for the band and his instructor has told him it will be played at the final band concert with my son conducting. For the last three years I have been attending the senior farewell band concert and hearing the student composition played at the end. I never thought that maybe in his senior year it would be my son conducting that piece. I have shed a tear in the other concerts - oh my gosh, even the band director cries so how in the world will I not be sobbing this year as my son leads the band in performing his own piece?

I realize now that it was the right decision for my sons to finish high school here and not move with Sam out of state. My oldest would not be volleyball captain or have received this recent honor as Sam's state doesn't have boy's volleyball in high school. Nor would my son have won the school talent show or the one in our community. This was the best decision for our family (maybe not all families) and I am grateful that today I was shown that the hardship we have endured has been worth it in the end.

I am also grateful for the other small graces that surprise me throughout the day. Meeting a woman facing similar experiences, finding the perfect calendar after giving up and having to settle for one and then spying a funny little frog in a planter picking up dollar tacos for the boys (I deal with leftovers).

Small surprise graces to get us through the dark days of winter and propel us onward with more hope.


  1. Congratulations to your son! I know you are so proud of him. I am happy for you that you have found a place where you belong, your knit club. You sound at peace, what a blessing!

  2. Many congratulations to your son. You must be bursting with pride. You have sacrificed a lot by not moving, but your boys show you that you made the right decision. They are fine young men and a credit to you.

    And I just love that birdhouse crochet pattern. It will make a super picture.

  3. What honors for your sons! This is such an upbeat post--so different then a year ago--six months ago. I am glad you are in the club and meeting women who you can share with. Congratulations.

  4. What a day of wonderful gifts. You sound like less of an island, struggling and managing on your own. Opening up and connecting with like minded women doesn't happen every day. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Thank you everyone for your kind words. Sometimes I feel a little guilty bragging about my boys in these posts but I am bursting with pride and have no one to really share with. By far one of the hardest aspects of widowhood for me has been the lack of a partner to share with at the end of the day and who equally is as proud of the boys as I am.

    I know my sacrifices have been worth it for the boys but it has still taken a toll on me and I am at the point of needing a break and rest or I won't be able to get through the next 1 1/2 years to go! I will concentrate on trying to bring more knitting,fun and rest into my life.