For anyone eager to move past the holidays, they won't need to wait long because Valentine's Day candy is already up at my grocery store. I remember earlier in the season being upset when Christmas lights were put up at Halloween but now that the holidays are over, I feel a bit sad.
Since my husband's death, the holidays have never the same. I was thinking this year about how we no longer ride around the pretty neighborhoods looking at the twinkling lights. I am always so rushed, even the years when we didn't really celebrate much. Now the holidays are over and I feel that I really didn't even have an opportunity to savor them. By the time the dust settles and I am in a place to enjoy the season, it is already over. I suppose this is ditto for whatever season we are in - the elegance of autumn, fun of Halloween, the radiant spring sunshine and flowers. By the time I even realize and appreciate the season I am in, it has already passed and we are whizzing ahead to the next event on the calendar.
I was always busy as a young married mom, but never felt the regret of the passing seasons as I have as a widow. Somehow there was more time because I had more help and a partner by my side to share the season with. It makes a huge difference. I hope this year is different in some way. I'm not sure how I can make my life less busy and full. But I hope in some way to try and greet each special holiday with an intensity I haven't been able to in previous years. Maybe I need to spend a little time each week planning for Christmas and Halloween starting now? I know that in Victorian times the women made all their gifts and the preparations began in the summer. This year I do not want to see the holidays flit by without being able to say that I felt them in my heart!