Thursday, December 17, 2009

Christmas Past and Present

The circumstances of the past few months have resulted in my not decorating in any way. There is nothing up yet at either Sam's home or my apartment. It is the first year I have never not celebrated or tried to pull together some sort of seasonal spirit.

My decorations and numerous trees are buried in two storage sheds and I am just not motivated to make or buy anything. I've run out of time for making decorations and money is beyond tight. My heart has not been in this year's holiday at all. There was just too much going on finishing my Asst. Nursing class and then moving out of state to get the kids enrolled in the new school right after Thanksgiving.

I can't believe it is only a week before Christmas now! If the boys were younger, I would be more concerned about the trimmings and decorations. I used to go all out. Every year I would have a different theme for the tree and sometimes had three or four in the house. I made many homemade decorations and ornaments, knitted wreaths, baked tons of cookies and breads. The boys got many presents. On display was my large collecion of antique Santas. Holiday music was played all day and the house was filled with good scents.

The memories I am recalling are making me smile because I did create some beautiful ones for my family. And that includes Husband #2 with a tree that was white with all blue ornaments and blue lights. But I am also a bit sad that this holiday is one that is turning out to be so sparse.

We are thankfully going to my girlfriend's for Christmas and her home will have a tree. We'll have to get our holiday fix there. I need to knit some scarves for gifts. I will put up Sam's little fiber optic tree tomorrow and we'll treat it as a joke. I have some stained glass window designs that can be colored and maybe I can request that the boys and Sam make one so I can hang them in the picture window. I can bake something, even one item from a mix, say gingerbread and we can have it warm from the oven with popcorn and hot chocolate while we watch my favorite movie, "Love Actually." Maybe I can get some little gifts from the dollar store and wrap them so the boys have a pile of something to open.

My oldest was born in early December and in the early years of my marriage, life was so hectic at the holidays, my husband and I celebrated with gifts on New Year's Eve. One year, when my oldest had been hospitalized with Impetigo/Chicken Pox and I was pregnant with my second, the tree wasn't even put up until Dec. 26th! I am laughing as I think about that memory. Perhaps years from now I will look back and recall this as an unconventional holiday that still got celebrated. A little time remains to come up with some ideas.

But this season will be one of extreme simplicity and restraint. Has anyone else noticed as have I, that there aren't as many decorations out at the shopping centers? Guess I'm not the only one cutting back this year. I do take back my first statement about there being nothing up at either residence. Sam put up some snowmen, including one I crafted last Christmas and gave him as a gift.


  1. Love Actually is also a favorite of mine. I hope someone will love me like that again someday, but I'm in no rush. I need to be happy by myself first.....and I'm working on it.

  2. Just think that next Christmas you will be able to take out and display all of your decorations and bake and have music playing and create new memories. Good times are a'coming! Once you move past all of this and begin again things will fall into a happier place.

  3. Anonymous - I certainly hope all of us find love again. The reason this is such a great movie is because it portrays all the different kinds of love there are and does not just focus on romantic love.

    Debra - The jury is still out on your positive picture, at least regarding the decorations. I fear they may be buried in storage for years on end. At least there will be plenty of time to start making some though!