Saturday, August 8, 2009

Life and Solitaire

I have been playing the computer game solitaire recently, as a brief diversion when I need to take a break. As I play (with usually very terrible cards) the thought has repeatedly struck me how similar life can be to this game. Sometimes there is nothing you can do with the hand you were dealt - no amount of rearranging or manipulating the cards is going to get the hand to win. The cards dealt to you were chance, you did nothing wrong in selecting certain ones. Neither did you give up too easily. Rather, you spent some time studying the patterns and did your best to come up with new strategies to no avail.

My therapist once told me that there are times when we need to accept that it is not our fault. That we need to give up on the situation because there is absolutely nothing we can do to come out on top. The ship is sinking and to survive you need to bail. Her words were a novel concept to me. I of course, always think it is my fault and if only I can do or change one thing the situation will be restored.

But as I play this game I am reminded of her words. Sometimes no amount of rearranging the financial figures is going to make you come out ahead and the best option is to sell your home and downsize. Sometimes all of your love and devotion is going to be rejected if the person you're involved with doesn't want to be in an intimate relationship and doesn't have the skills or experience to work with you on saving it. Sometimes it honestly isn't your fault and the hardest aspect of that is to accept there is nothing you can do anymore but end the game and start a new one, which you do with hope and expectancy.

Today I am grateful:

1. For a world that is beyond what we can humanly imagine/comprehend.
2. For the belief in something bigger than ourselves, a creator/life force.
3. For the power of synchronization (fate/magic/luck) in our lives.
4. For the extreme little things we take for granted such as being able to email and play solitaire on the computer in the first place!
5. That there is always hope even after defeat.

1 comment:

  1. I have spent the last 7 years trying to believe and live this concept--because, I have always thought if I just tried harder or was a better person, my life would be perfect--he would love me and not beat me...he would not break=-up with me...etc. I think it has to be a conscious daily thought to remember--sometimes it IS so much better just to bail instead of stressing out over a situation where there is no other solution.