Monday, June 22, 2009


My girlfriend and I went out Friday night to hear a band one of her friends plays in. While out, she told me that she thinks I am very strong handling all that is going on in my life right now. In fact, she said I am much stronger now than when I got remarried almost three years ago.

I told her that I do not consider myself that strong right now. I'm doing what I have to do - what other choice is there if I want to keep living? I need to be here for my boys so as hard as life is I can't zone out, or drink to deaden my pain or not work (because we need the extra money my job brings in for essentials). So I'm not sure that qualifies me for any great award here. If you're doing what you have to do because there is no other choice, that's what it is whether I'm strong or not.

Today I am grateful:

1. For iced tea.
2. That I have enough summer clothes and shoes so I don't need to buy anything new (although I could really use a new bra).
3. For bright summer nail polish colors.
4. For the church bells I hear chime from my open window.
5. For the train horns I also hear from my windows (I grew up hearing the train from my childhood home too and it is a comforting sound for me).

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