I don't know if it is the medication that is calming my nerves, the walks or a combination of both but I have reached some sort of level of peace within my life and circumstances. Things are still extremely challenging emotionally and financially. I struggle every month simply to put decent food on the table and have enough gas to do the limited driving I do. This month, the month of feasting and thankfulness has been the absolute worst in terms of not having enough to make it. We had car insurance bills totaling $600.00 and there goes the gas and food budget. I won't belabor our financial woes. I try to keep those separate in my blog "Plunged Into Poverty," which I don't post as much on.
Anyway, I always say to the boys, "This is it guys - we've reached the end. I can't make it anymore and we'll be eating PB & J the last week of the month." They respond, "You tell us that every month and we always make it through and have yet to have a dinner of PB & J." Still it is so hard...
Yet despite it all I am committed to finding happiness or at least contentment even within these trying circumstances. I will stand as tall as I can and try to rise above all of this.
In the end, I believe what we should all strive for is to become the best we can both inside and out. And to sneak in a little happiness besides.
The Winking Owl wine is not that good but I have had a glass and feel the effects of mellowness. I haven't given up yet - a good belly laugh would be nice. Have to work on that. But I'm not afraid anymore to look for happiness and to even be happy. I'm not going to put it on hold anymore until my circumstances have improved. That's a huge shift for me.