Saturday, November 20, 2010

Standing Tall

I don't know if it is the medication that is calming my nerves, the walks or a combination of both but I have reached some sort of level of peace within my life and circumstances. Things are still extremely challenging emotionally and financially. I struggle every month simply to put decent food on the table and have enough gas to do the limited driving I do. This month, the month of feasting and thankfulness has been the absolute worst in terms of not having enough to make it. We had car insurance bills totaling $600.00 and there goes the gas and food budget. I won't belabor our financial woes. I try to keep those separate in my blog "Plunged Into Poverty," which I don't post as much on.

Anyway, I always say to the boys, "This is it guys - we've reached the end. I can't make it anymore and we'll be eating PB & J the last week of the month." They respond, "You tell us that every month and we always make it through and have yet to have a dinner of PB & J." Still it is so hard...

Yet despite it all I am committed to finding happiness or at least contentment even within these trying circumstances. I will stand as tall as I can and try to rise above all of this.

In the end, I believe what we should all strive for is to become the best we can both inside and out. And to sneak in a little happiness besides.

The Winking Owl wine is not that good but I have had a glass and feel the effects of mellowness. I haven't given up yet - a good belly laugh would be nice. Have to work on that. But I'm not afraid anymore to look for happiness and to even be happy. I'm not going to put it on hold anymore until my circumstances have improved. That's a huge shift for me.


  1. Hurray for you!!! Glad to see that in spite of the darkness you have walked through, you are seeing some light. Have a blessed Thanksgiving!!!

  2. Wow, that's fantastic, sounds great.

  3. I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving this year!!! I hope that it is filled with good food, good times, and happy memories. I know that isn't easy for us, but I pray we might each find some happiness or peace, even if it is a small amount.
    I am spending the day with my two of my four children. We are going to enjoy the day the best we can. We aren't going to have any rules or agenda, but go with the flow. To me, that is very scary, but I will give it a try.
    May God bless you all!!!!

  4. I love your new 'stake in the sand'. If I understand correctly, happiness is now a guest at your table. What form does it take?
    Happy Thanksgiving.

  5. You appear to have walked your way to the light, and this post is beautiful.
    I just know you will have a very happy Thanksgiving this year, no matter how it manifests itself!

  6. Jenanne - Let me know what you end up doing. I know of someone who started a new tradition after divorcing of the mom going out with her two children to a Chinese restaurant every Christmas and it became a very special tradition for them.

    Beth, Julie, Flo and CCK - Greetings and best wishes to all of you. May happiness greet us in unexpected ways and may we welcome it when it surprises us.