I think most of our days are ordinary and filled with the dull job of simply living ordinary lives. Special days like Christmas, birthdays, births, death, the radiant changing leaves and blossoming flowers only come once a year. I used to want Christmas to be all year long because people are in better moods but then I realized that if we had the holidays all year, they would no longer be special. These events become special because they are rare and we need to really treasure them as such when we are living through them.
It is up to us to find contentment (the word I'd rather use than happiness) in our day-to-day lives. Some years back, before widowhood, I read the suggestion to find joy while doing the dishes. I totally scoffed at the notion. Then in grad school I had a wise professor who used to always say that the best part of life was in the process, not the end result. The process or what we are going through ends up being ultimately more valuable. She was referring to our education vs. the degree and again I couldn't really understand what she meant.
I do get it now. Maybe having been widowed and now as someone who has lived up to middle age. But I see that it has to do with valuing all of our days and not just the ones off in the future that we think are most special - weddings, graduations, school dances, vacations. Our lives are made up of a whole lot more ordinary days than special ones. Filled with a lot more drudgery like doing dishes than going off on the town.
How does all this relate to widowhood and life? I guess I'm just trying to do the best I can even under strife and difficulty to be more fully present in the here and now. To appreciate every day and to make the smallest moments count.