Dear Cyber Friends -
I don't know what is wrong with me. I am just so tired. Not sure if it is the new medication adjusting itself to my body or if I am just really tired from all that has happened over the past years (or a combination of both). I am getting through the days doing what has to be done with making sure the boys are fed, have clean clothes, get to their various activities and so on but I am doing everything kind of like I'm on automatic pilot and without much emotion.
It is strange. I don't feel freaked out or like I'm going to explode but at the same time I don't feel much inspiration or happiness (for lack of a better word) either. I am just kind of blah, hum bug, even-keeled. Maybe that is where I should be right now, at least for the time being but I do miss really feeling more of my emotions. It is a little weird feeling so numb.
The best news is that the blood pressure medicine worked within just a week to get my blood pressure to a normal level. The doctor told me he felt the worry/anxiety I was experiencing was a definite factor in why my BP was so high. I am very grateful that it has gone down because being worried about that too just made my anxiety worse!
I continue to take a half hour or more nature walk and that has been a lifesaver to me. But most days I wake up with this low grade headache that doesn't seem to dissipate. I would like to go to bed for a week and just sleep for seven days straight!
There were some boxes that I couldn't fit into the storage shed and I had to bring them home to sort through and get rid of. Have been busy with that and making lots of Goodwill donations. But the house move still weighs heavy on my mind and heart. Moving from such a large home into a small place turned out to be a very challenging and unending task for me to handle and accomplish, as noted by the fact that I'm still at it a year later. Anyway, there is progress in that and progress in out looking for work in my field of social services. No bites yet but I'm at least casting out my line into the water which for me is a big step. I tend to bury my head in the sand because of my fear of failure and not making it.
I hope all of you are doing as well as can be expected in everyone's individual situations. At least the weather is lovely this time of year and there is joy in celebrating that. Happy fall to all.