Friday, October 15, 2010

Falling Apples

Tonight was Senior Farewell Night at the football game. The parents line up with with their son and the names are announced over the stadium speaker. The principal shakes your hand and the moms get a flower with a ribbon in the school colors. Pictures are taken, etc. I've been dreading this event the past months but it went by in such a quick blur I survived it! I was given a really nice laminated large photo of my son in his football uniform.

It was cold and my son said he wouldn't be playing since they changed the lineup and in order to win this crucial game put in bigger guys in my son's place. So I didn't stay the whole game which we thankfully won! I went home for some dinner, a nice warm cup of black bean soup with some cheese and crackers.

I was spending some time on the computer since it can be hard to get online when the boys are home. For the heck of it I looked up a Facebook comment made on my son's page from a few days back. I had no idea this happened but he wrote that he had passed a homeless man holding a sign that said he would work for food. So my son stopped at a McDonald's and bought the man a dinner. The man cried when my son gave him the meal and shook his hand. My son said it made him feel better than he had in a long time. One of my son's teachers commented that he was proud of him. I was floored, especially since I had no idea this happened. And my sons and I are pretty tight/close in talking to one another. I am surprised he didn't say anything to me.

A couple days ago my youngest cashed his work paycheck and asked me to take him to the dollar store so he could buy a hat for winter that he had seen. He also needed deodorant and body wash that he bought himself. As we left the parking lot, I too noticed two homeless guys with signs. I only had a few dollars change on me but pulled around and went back to them. My youngest asked what I was doing. I told him that I don't have much to give but they looked like they needed help more than we did. So we stopped and I gave the guys a few dollars.

I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

My handsome son made me proud tonight because of his athletic leadership which was stressed as the boys were introduced. But I wish that announcer could have told everyone what he did a few days ago in buying a meal for a man in need of some food. Especially when we are struggling ourselves and my son surely would have enjoyed a fast food meal himself since we so rarely get them now.

For a few brief moments tonight I made a quick call to the heavens telling my husband I wished he was on the field beside me to share this moment. I hope he was also witness to the goodness in my son's soul as he pulled into that McDonald's.


  1. You must (should) be so proud of your sons. They are growing up to be fine young men their father would be proud of, too. You and he have set wonderful examples for them.

    Today is 5 years since my husband died. It feels unreal. Sometimes I feel my life has always been this way and what came before was some kind of dream. Do you ever feel that way?

  2. As a single mom your financial burden can be overwhelming and discouraging. One important thing to remember, you're not alone. There are other single moms out there going through similar situations. Sometimes it helps just to vent and give each other encouraging words.

  3. Thelma - This morning lying in bed for a few blessed minutes of relaxation before getting up to face the day of running around (son #1 is going to his girlfriend's Homecoming dance tonight so I have to pickup flowers, his suit from dry cleaners, etc., since he is still at football)- he plays on Sat. too and I thought of exactly what you brought up - that life has always been this way. The way life used to be just gets fuzzier and fuzzier in my mind and reality.

    I will be thinking of you and Ralph with care and concern as I am out and about. I hope today is meaningful to you in some way that is not too painful and I send love.

  4. Dokemion - Yes, the words overwhelming and discouraging often come up in my mind. Venting and trying to encourage others is why I blog. Thanks for commenting.

  5. Thanks for your kind thoughts. The day is sort of surreal--an ordinary day, having lunch with a dear friend, watching football this afternoon--I can't exactly wrap my head around the fact that Ralph has been gone such a long time. So I feel more weird than sad today.

  6. That was a really lovely thing for your son to do. You're raising a good man.

    I have that "this is the way it's always been" feeling all the time, too. Sometimes I go back and read old journals from 6-7-8 years ago to remind myself of how things used to be. Although, I also remind myself often that even if my husband were still alive, things wouldn't be the same as they were then, just by virtue of time passing. It's all very confusing.

  7. I think what your son did was very wonderful indeed. My husband used to tell me that when we see a person in need that it is always good to help them. He would say you never know when you might be actualy taking care of an angel in disguise.
    It will be a year this Nov. 16 that my husband went to heaven. Last year at this time, we knew that he didn't have long to live, and tried to store up as many minutes as we could with him. It is hard to believe that I haven't heard his voice in almost a year now. I wonder if I will always feel so alone. I still feel like one half of me is still missing. People in my life just keep living and moving forward, I feel like I am just standing still. That is why I feel so blessed finding your blog on the internet. It helps me feel like I can share and that there are people here that feel the same, and understand. Thank you for listening to me, and for being there.

  8. Thelma - I am glad you were with a dear friend and had an afternoon of football. Weird instead of sad is a good way of putting it.

    Vanessa - You are right that things would be different simply with the passage of time. But I do believe that life would be better than how it has been as a widow, which I suppose isn't a beneficial way of thinking. As in the end, it is what it is and we have to make the best of it.

    Jeanne - Starting and a blog and reading other widow/widower blogs was my lifesaver. I needed a place to go where people truly understood what no one else seemed to. I just wanted the world to stop for a little while after my husband died, but that sun just kept rising and everyone around me kept on going along with their lives. You will eventually "catch up" with life but it takes awhile and you can't force yourself. Be kind and gentle to yourself in the days and nights ahead. I am glad you had the opportunity to store up those memories you had with your husband in his final days. I hope recalling them can provide you with strength in the upcoming weeks.

  9. Thanks for the great posts I've read a lot.