I think of myself as a kind person, or at least I try to be in my daily living. I let moms with little kids go ahead of me in the grocery line, along with older folks and people with fewer items. I let cars merge in tight traffic situations and move over lanes to let faster cars pass. I make an effort to be polite and acknowledge in words thanks and compliments.
Anyway, yesterday I ran into JoAnn Crafts and Fabrics to kill some time waiting for a WalMart prescription to be filled (talk about time delays). I needed a size G crochet hook and as much as I hate spending any money on anything extra right now had enough change in my purse to afford the $1.25 cost (of course, I got the cheapest one). Now on to the check out line which like WalMart is always so crowded - about 13 people waiting.
When I got to the cashier, a younger woman cut in front of me and I moved in and politely said it was my turn. The woman immediately told me to calm down which annoyed me because I was totally calm (I absolutely hate it when people tell you this and they are the ones with smoke coming out of their ears). She reluctantly let me go ahead of her but not without some heated words directed at me. It was not a pleasant experience.
As I reflected on this encounter I realized that I reason I had stuck up for my place in line was because I feel as though so much has already been taken from me - my husband, my home and so on. As silly and trivial as it seems, I didn't want to "loose" something yet again, even as small as my place in line.
But afterward, the more I thought about this the more I wished I'd just let it go. It was an ugly encounter and unnecessary. I felt bad about it even thought I wasn't to blame and it would have been far better to have just let it be as it was playing out. There is already so much strife and conflict in the world. I have the ability to take and tolerate it. I wish I had backed off and let this woman go ahead of me. There are situations worth fighting for and those worth passing by even when you're in the right. This wasn't worth it.