Monday, March 21, 2011

Spring Finally in the Air

After a harsh winter of longing for and dreaming of Spring, this fair season has finally arrived and I am sick (physically) and downhearted when I wish I was jumping for joy! I got ill last year around this time too and I wonder if it has something to do with focusing all my energies on getting through the winter months and once they are over my body can relax and give into fatigue. Just a nasty cold this time, when last year I think it was Mono. Still...

I don't want the rest of my life to go on this way. To struggle and battle with winter only to have it end and be so spent I can't even seem to look forward to the warmer months ahead. Too melodramatic here? I don't think so. I know fellow blogger and widow Beth will understand this, although I'm not sure others would. It's kind of like a feeling of spinning my wheels. So I made it through another rough winter - guess what? Another one awaits and another one after that and then another...

I am taking the day off from work. I had a rough day at work on Saturday when I was coming down with this and no doubt got sick at work in the first place. Long gone are the days when I would go into work sick. Now if I'm sick I'm staying home. In fact, one of the servers was ill with similar symptoms and she should have stayed home. But she is about 25 and when I was her age, I worked in sickness and health too.

Speaking of work, it is a tiring and rather thankless job. It reminds me so much of cashiering at the Big Box Store. I have resolved to start taking classes for the Library Assistant Program next term. I would have started them in January but that month became too crazy with the memorial service for my father and my son's talent competition in Springfield. I think knowing that I am DOING something to get myself out of these low or entry level type jobs will improve my mood considerably. But I also have to cut myself some slack knowing that I'm not the only professional out there working in retail or at a restaurant simply because of the economy and so on. But actually engaging in some type of action is a great motivator.

So these are my petty thoughts and worries at this point. I am disturbed with world events - the earthquake, our bombing of Libya. There have also been reported increased sightings of UFOs worldwide - that to me is very scary. And yet we drag ourselves out of bed and continue to face the days. At least now, there will be more sun than clouds.


  1. It is a daily battle, just grief alone. Let alone life and its challenges, be it wars starting, global warming, finances, friends or work. It only needs ONE thing to worry us and it sends us off centre off balance (and I use the term loosely and relatively) and it all becomes 1000% harder ... and being ill truly magnifies our situation and loss and pain. Sending you light to fill your spring days xxx

  2. It's definitely spring here now. Azaleas are blooming and the temperature is in the 80's. But I think the change of seasons, especially fall and spring are especially hard because they are so beautiful that it's painful to experience them. Take care.

  3. Dear friend:

    I am so sorry you have been sick. I will pray that you will heal quickly and regain your strength.

    It is definitely spring here with summer close behind -- my least favorite season -- too hot and humid. I know this time of year it should be easy to enjoy the beautiful buds and blossoms on the trees and bushes, but I seem to be oblivious to it all. I must MAKE a conscious effort to look and see the beauty around me, much like making a conscious effort to keep moving forward, one step at a time -- B.U.T. it can be so VERY difficult at times when other things are thrown in the way.

    I think it is wonderful that you are going to pursue taking classes -- you can do it -- I believe in you!!!!

    You have encouraged so many of us with your strength, courage and resilience.

    Take the time to take care of yourself -- you have earned it.

    Much love!!!!

  4. Stop by my blog and leave a comment--who do you think (real or fictional woman) best represents resilience? Can't be one of us, although we fit. Must be a well-known woman.
    Feel better soon.