The reality of this news is just crushing me. I knew about this a few years back but was able to keep it away some distance by concentrating on parenting my sons. Now that I'll be facing the job market this issue needs to be confronted head-on. I can't keep it at bay any longer. My career goal is to be able to have my own practice in the areas of grief/elder care. But to accomplish that I'll have to get training/education.
The empty-nest transition I'm looking at dead in the eye would be easier I think if I had a career or job to hang on to. But I'm hitting this empty-nest life without one, along with moving to a new community. I don't have a partner/husband/guy friend to help fill the soon-to-be free hours with time and attention either. I'm starting to feel scared and empty.
This is all becoming a bit more for me to bear on my lonesome. I called my health insurance plan this a.m. to see if I have mental counseling coverage and my plan allows for UNLIMITED coverage. So I got a local referral so I can start talking to someone about all these changes to my life. I will post about any revelations related to longer-term widowhood and the transitions that result.
Interestingly, I am becoming very teary-eyed of late. I feel as though I am emotionally regressing. I have strong feelings of anger about my husband's death, which you'd think after 8 years would have lessened. Now that I don't have the boys to think about so much, my mind is going back to the bad stuff. I feel such sadness and loss that my husband isn't here to share in the boys' academic successes. And I am also upset and cross about feeling so tired and worn down. I think the real RX is a vacation STAT!
But anyway, I'll update about any new developments to mood and outlook.