Friday, October 14, 2011

A New Path

My youngest has completed and sent off his college applications (5) and the computer is finally free for my use. Now is the waiting game to see where he gets accepted. And now it is my turn for that process. I played around last night looking for schools offering social work programs. Nothing with the right fit - and I was a bit worried today thinking about it. There weren't a lot of schools offering the program at the graduate level. A benefit of living in the Chicago suburbs is that there are numerous schools in and around Chicago to attend.

A plus of looking at school possibilities was that today I was less consumed with worry about finances. It felt good to be thinking of something else regarding my future and hope for my new life.

This afternoon after work, I was at it again determined to make some headway in trying to find potential schools. And I found a program that starts this summer and looks as if I would be easily accepted into. I called the university at 5:15 and someone actually answered the phone taking my number for a call back on Monday with more info. But it is exciting to be actively focused and involved in trying to move forward for a better life. The program is an evening program, which has some attraction to me. I also like that it starts in the summer and I wouldn't have to wait until next fall.

Mid-life brings change. Empty-nesters go back to school or pursue new interests. I have heard of another mom going to school for social work now that her kids are all in college. I think it is different though and harder for widows. The mom I know of has a husband, she hasn't had to face financial trials or move from her home. Widows bear the brunt of having to recreate themselves totally on their own without the support of spouses. And that can be a trial.

I want to be and feel vital, vibrant and productive again. I know to achieve that I will need to keep traveling down this new path. And I do wish it were easier. I wish I had a supportive husband behind me. I wish I weren't even having to make these life choices and changes. If my husband hadn't died, I doubt I would be contemplating going back to school or moving. Widowhood forces one to take a path unplanned and unwanted. But there is no other choice.


  1. But you ARE making new choices and trying new paths. Good for you. Hope the school you've found is the perfect one for you.

  2. Widowhood is such an intense experience. There really is a sense of isolation and loss that follows one in all of their circumstances. You
    really describe it quite well.

  3. Thelma - Thank you as always for your ever present encouragement.

    Anonymous - I think out of everything I do with this blog, one of my biggest hopes is to convey in totality, the intensity of widowhood because I believe that is often a point overlooked. Thanks for your comment and reading.