As difficult and trying as life is and can be, I tell you, it just isn't a total loss when there are Taffy Apples for sale again, and brownies in the adorable shape of footballs (Little Debbie Snack Cakes).
The reason I am so rejuvenated after my nature walks is because I can see the miracle of nature around me. There is something bigger than me, a plan in place that goes far beyond my trivial problems (trivial to the world, not so much for me). But anyway, you get the idea. I am just a little cog in the sphere and space of the Universe. This is what I comprehend when I see a perfectly shaped red leaf float down from a tree and land at my feet.
There is a saying that no matter what life throws at you, you can always bake a cake. I'm not so much of a cake baker but I do love to bake bread, muffins and cookies. So we have had a nice sampling of apple, pear and pumpkin breads of late.
I continue to struggle facing up to all the changes that are necessary for me to go on from here to rebuild my life from the bottom up. I wish it were easier. Sometimes I still feel like giving up and packing it all in. But then I think about apple cider and putting together a German fest feast for the fun of it. And I realize there is still a lot worth living for - the little, unexpected pleasures that are part of our lives and oftentimes go unnoticed or taken for granted. It is focusing on those little joys and holding on to them with all our might when so much of the rest of the world rages turbulently around us.
This is a very good post. Here you have hit the nail on the head. The only way out of this is to look for joy around you. I know that you see so much of what you used to love and enjoy as now being out of your grasp. BUT finding joy and fun in your life will make everything else easier to cope with.
ReplyDeleteYour previous post about how you reached out to the store clerk, shows you maybe coming out of the fog. Next, I challenge you to ask someone out to coffee with you, or to share some of your baking at home. Truly, once you are comfortable start offering yourself to others, you will start making the friendships that you crave. It gets easier every time you do it, just like any skill it needs practice!
Julie
What a lovely post. I'm glad you're feeling better and seeing the beauty around you. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteWish I was closer so that I could come and enjoy an autumnal German feast with you! (I'm in Massachusetts.) Sounds delicious. Meaning and joy can and should be found in little things.
ReplyDeleteI just read a story in today's Boston Globe about a young, handsome, well-liked man with a loving family who finished a 1,900 page "suicide note" that he had been working on for years and then shot himself on the Harvard campus. His book was basically about nihilism -- the idea that life has no meaning -- and so his choice to kill himself was, to him, all the same as making a choice to, say, bake a cake.
But these small things -- baking a cake, noticing a red leaf, enjoying a cup of cider -- do have meaning, even if we can't necessarily articulate what it is, and can provide joy if we let them. They can be enough when there isn't more. Even if there is more, they can be the very sweetest kinds of things. I'm so glad that you are seeing this.
--ARB
Your posts are becoming more positive -- that is good! God's creation is so amazing! Hoping your week is filled with many of the little unexpected blessings!
ReplyDeleteI also enjoyed this time of year. It reminds me of the fun times I had with my children over the years. When they were little, we loved riding around, and seeing the different colors of leaves. We were always so excited about Halloween, and the spookiness of it all. Many times we would listen to scary stories, and jumped when a monster suddenly appeared, or the ghost said "Boo". We would then laugh at the silliness of being scared, and would try to convince each other that we knew it all the time what was going to happen.
ReplyDeleteYour post brought me pleasure and many good memories. I thank you for that.
This is always my favorite time of year. For one thing, my birthday is in September and even at 56 I am like a five year old when it comes to my birthday. lol
ReplyDeleteThe weather is so wonderful, such a relief after the hot summer. Everything seems clearer.
And comfort food! For me right now it is pudding. I had a craving for home made pudding, which I haven't made in probably 30 years. I found a great recipe, it was super easy and it was just what I needed. Calories shmalories. lol
I know it's uncool to advertise my blog on yours, but I'm giving away a free copy of The Five Ways We Grieve. It's an outstanding book on bereavement and beyond. Take care, Thelma
ReplyDeleteThis sounds so positive. I am so glad you have found nature's beauty around you and taken a deep breath of the cool air--it can be so invigorating. Nice post.
ReplyDeletePositive, not so positive experiences, how do they balance out these days? I don't know how long you go between postings, and I am missing your perspective. This cyber friend hopes you are well.
ReplyDeleteJulie - I would love to go out for coffee or a glass or wine and especially to my favorite restaurant for the Fri. night fish fry (about the only place around here that actually serves smelt). I like your idea of inviting someone to share my baking - there are two nice ladies here in the apartment complex. That will be a future goal!
ReplyDeleteThelma - Love your dropping by and have no problems ever with anyone "advertising" their blogs here. I sometimes refer to things you say or recommend in my posts.
ARB - You offer some wise commentary, very nicely worded. Just smelled wood smoke from burning leaves for the first time this year and thought about that being another small, simple pleasure. Although my youngest told me today he is getting tired of eating all my versions of pumpkin bread!
Beth - I hope your days are filled with happy autumn wonders in your area. Although they are different than the ones here in the Midwest, I know all across our country there are sweet changes in the air and scenery.
Anonymous - I think this is such a fun and beautiful time of year - a far better and inspiring time for making resolutions and starting over than in January!
Marie - I'm glad you treated yourself to some homemade pudding. What kind was it and feel free to share the recipe.
Judy - Hope you're doing well and enjoying the weather in your neck of the woods where it gets so pretty.
Flo - Thanks for checking in and caring. Had to help my oldest with his college applications and essays so not a lot of free time this week but you inspired me to write a post tonight - after all, we need to take a break now and then from the work at hand and blogging is a treat for me.
Ah, the pudding!!
ReplyDeleteFirst I made chocolate pudding from this recipe. It was so awesomely easy and delicious, I cannot even tell you!! http://smittenkitchen.com/2008/02/best-chocolate-pudding/
Yum, yum, yum!!
Then I made butterscotch pudding that was so gross I could barely choke it down. I won't even insult you with the recipe. It's back to the drawing board for that one. When I find one that is good, I will share it asap!!!