I am trying to be conscious of the concept of giving what I need in order to attract it back into my life. This is not that hard to attend to as I try to be a thoughtful and giving person in my daily life as much as possible. But it is hard from the standpoint of not thinking that I have much to give because my own pantry is bare.
I went to see Sam over the weekend, leaving after taking my state certified nursing exam, around 5:00 p.m. I had made sure that the boys had friends to sleepover with as I am not comfortable having them overnight on their own. The boys did not want to go with me as they had just finished finals week and it was a long weekend with the Martin Luther King holiday. There were activities planned with their friends to celebrate the end of the semester.
So I drove the four-hour trip even though I was very drained from the week of finals and my own exam. Part of the reason I went to see Sam was that he had his son visiting and on Sunday had to work. My being there would avoid having to get a babysitter and/or bring his son to work with him for at least part of the day. If I can help out and give a helping hand I'll do so. I want to. It is positive to feel useful and valuable.
Being at Sam's gave me an opportunity to have a bit of a break from parenting my boys. I had the time to do some knitting and reading which translates into huge relaxation for me. Sam's son is 11-years-old and no trouble to be around. He enjoys playing his computer and video games on his own and is a pleasure to interact with.
When I left on Monday morning, Sam let me take home the leftover food he had picked up for his son's visit. This included milk, Hawaiian punch, 2 boxes of Little Debbie snacks, fruit snacks, french fries, bread, yogurt, hot dog buns, a box of Cheese crackers and 2 mini fruit pies. In addition, he let me have some bath tissue, a roll of paper towels, liquid dish soap, a can of peas, a stick of butter and even a new stick of deodorant from a two-pack since my oldest was out. Now this offering was really like hitting the mother load! We are really strapped and I am not buying items like cookies or snacks for the boys. When I started putting the items away at home, my youngest joked that it was better than the food pantry (sad to joke about this - sadder that it is true). To be able to have fresh items in the home like bread, milk, juice and yogurt is a gift.
I was and am grateful for these things. It cost me $45.00 in tolls and gas one way to make the trip. Sam provided me with this amount also for the return trip. I wish I did not have to rely on him for the gas money to get back home but this was a very lean month, especially with having to pay the speeding ticket for my son - that had to come out of the grocery budget.
I would like to believe that my helping Sam out with being there for his son resulted in my sons receiving some nice snacks that they would not have ordinarily. I didn't make the trip expecting to go home with anything other than some dish soap so it was the bounty was a nice surprise for me too. Just the milk alone, since the boys are going through a gallon every two days.
Yesterday, Sam called me to ask a favor. He was $80.00 short in his checking account and the mortgage payment was being taken out today. Because he now lives out of state, banking has become a little problematic. He would have had to leave work at noon in order to drive to Illinois and make a deposit. Sending a check by overnight mail was not an option since an out-of-state check takes longer to clear - he needed the cash deposited in his account. Fortunately, there is a branch of his bank in my town and very fortunately I still had (barely) $80.00 in my own account to withdraw. Even though I am cutting it very close with finances, I wanted to assist him because I could - it was a tight squeeze but it was the better option than Sam having to leave work early and drive 8 hours, not to mention the gas expense. Sam kindly reimbursed me the $80.00 and added another $20.00 which he sent out by Fed-X, so except for me worrying a bit that my own balance is low, all is good.
At least I know that even in such dire times I can still get someone out of a jam. And I hope that the spirit of caring and sharing that was created this weekend will continue to flow. Sam mentioned that we are a good team together - that too.
Today I am grateful for:
1. Being given opportunities to help someone out. This is very important when you're struggling yourself and don't think that you have anything to give. It is not true to believe this - there are ways to give other than financial. But it is ironic that I was even able to help out financially!
2. All fresh food - the basics: milk, bread, butter, yogurt, eggs, fruit. I don't think I will ever again take for granted a simple loaf of bread or carton of milk.
3. The bag of Gala apples I was able to buy at ALDI for only $1.29!
4. The grocery store, ALDI. This chain sells at a considerable savings. I am shopping there almost exclusively because of the deals.
5. That the heating blower in the van started blowing again after it appeared to not be working. If it can just hold up another month I'll be even more grateful!
Showing posts with label saving money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label saving money. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Wanting And Needing (Ode To A Calendar)
I am not a winter person and especially find January bleak and uninspiring. The only thing that salvages this time of year, in my opinion, it that we can start off with a fresh calendar and/or datebook. I always enjoy browsing the huge display of calendars that they put out in the book stores starting in October and usually by this time have purchased several. I have to have a datebook to carry in my bag or purse that sets out the boys' sports schedules, important phone numbers, etc. Then I like to have one with pretty pictures to hang in the kitchen. For the bedroom and my desk, I've always loved those page-a-day ones and have gotten them with knitting, crochet, water color painting, origami, cross stitch themes and so on. And oftentimes I'd give one of the boys a calendar of their favorite sports team as a Christmas gift.
If I am remembering correctly, I came across the figure a few years back that there are more than 300 different calendar themes to choose from. By now, maybe that number is up to 500! Talk about something for everyone - birds, cooking, gardening, puzzles, flowers, cute baby animals, The Far Side, jokes, nature... When you think about it, it is kind of amazing to have that much choice and selection. But also at the same time another in-your-face reminder of how our society operates - people will buy more, if there is more to buy. Boy, don't I know that being tempted to get more than one in the past. I remember those days when I was a kid and there were only a few designs to select from. It has almost gotten out-of-hand with too much product on the shelf, no matter what section of the store you are in. I once counted the soap dispensers available at Target and it was over 30!
Anyway, it has been a tough couple years financially. I have bit the bullet and strived to use and make do with what I already have. I came across the huge calendar displays at various times over the fall and resisted my impulse to at least get one of the page-a-days with the knitting or crochet theme since those are my hobbies. But alas, while I can hold off on buying new clothes and such, a calendar is one of those items that is non-usable. It needs to be replaced every year. So I went to Barnes & Noble earlier in the week to obtain a datebook. I'd been organizing my purse and records inspired by that surge we get come Jan. 1, and determined that a datebook is not something I can survive without.
I live in a big metropolitan area and the stores around here sell out of their stock quickly. The remaining calendar selection was slim but I found one that I liked with a design of birds that was cute and it was only $4.00, half price (plus I got another member discount so all was good). I had hoped to find one of the knitting or crochet page-a-days left but there were not any. This ended up disappointing me so the next day I went to another larger book store to see if they had any. They did not.
I was surprised at how much this started to bother me. I wanted one of these calendars and regretted not getting one earlier. They feature almost daily knitting/crochet patterns and pack a lot of bang into your buck. You're basically getting 100+ patterns for just $16.00 (full cost). I was disappointed and could have lived with not having one of those calendars this year - so be it - it wasn't the year for excess spending, think ahead to next year. But then I remembered that in past years they've had those stores in the mall that solely sell calendars at this time. So I said, "What the heck," I'll make a quick run to the mall and check it out.
Along with winter, I'm not a mall person. Just don't enjoy going to them and haven't for many years. I prefer hitting the smaller strip malls or to order by catalog. I was on a mission - to see if there was a calendar store and to get in and out as soon as possible. I entered the mall through a large department store and have to say that I did gaze longingly at the cute pajamas they had on sale for 70% off. Then when I walked through the fragrance section, I did think about how nice it would be to be able to afford a new scent. But for the time being I am doing okay using what I already have. And it does ultimately end up feeling better to use what I have!
Just a short distance away from this store was the calendar store and I purchased two page-a-day ones. I got the last knitting one they had and the crochet one, of which there were several. They were half-price so I paid $16.00 for both. I figure that ends up to be about 5 cents a day for a whole lot of enjoyment throughout the year. When I put the cost factor into it, I was able to justify the purchase. Making this purchase was also more meaningful because of the savings, as well as the fact that I'd had to search for the product after making the conscious decision that it was something that I really wanted and would miss if I didn't have. In the past, I'd just pick up one of the calendars back in October - it was a taken for granted, almost mindless purchase. This time is different. I am grateful that I found the calendars and that I'll be able to enjoy them all year. And again I am struck by the reality that it is often the little things that end up meaning the most. I also recently read that "the high" we obtain from material items is very short-lived. I found that once I got out of the sleepware and frangrance departments, I didn't really have any desire for pjs or a new bottle of perfume. Out of sight, out of mind.
Part of me wrestles with whether I should have restrained myself from making this purchase. After all, it wasn't entirely necessary. The datebook was what I really needed. But then I go back to the 5 cents a day cost and tell myself that indeed, it is worth that small cost. Even in the middle of struggles, whatever they may be, there have to be ways that we can treat ourselves and nurture our souls.
Today I am grateful that:
1. The snowstorm wasn't as bad as predicted.
2. Already the worst week of the entire year (in my opinion) is over!
3. There was one knitting calendar left and I got it.
4. The boys are getting caught up with their school work.
5. I don't have to shovel myself out as I did when I was a homeowner (at least one perk to renting).
If I am remembering correctly, I came across the figure a few years back that there are more than 300 different calendar themes to choose from. By now, maybe that number is up to 500! Talk about something for everyone - birds, cooking, gardening, puzzles, flowers, cute baby animals, The Far Side, jokes, nature... When you think about it, it is kind of amazing to have that much choice and selection. But also at the same time another in-your-face reminder of how our society operates - people will buy more, if there is more to buy. Boy, don't I know that being tempted to get more than one in the past. I remember those days when I was a kid and there were only a few designs to select from. It has almost gotten out-of-hand with too much product on the shelf, no matter what section of the store you are in. I once counted the soap dispensers available at Target and it was over 30!
Anyway, it has been a tough couple years financially. I have bit the bullet and strived to use and make do with what I already have. I came across the huge calendar displays at various times over the fall and resisted my impulse to at least get one of the page-a-days with the knitting or crochet theme since those are my hobbies. But alas, while I can hold off on buying new clothes and such, a calendar is one of those items that is non-usable. It needs to be replaced every year. So I went to Barnes & Noble earlier in the week to obtain a datebook. I'd been organizing my purse and records inspired by that surge we get come Jan. 1, and determined that a datebook is not something I can survive without.
I live in a big metropolitan area and the stores around here sell out of their stock quickly. The remaining calendar selection was slim but I found one that I liked with a design of birds that was cute and it was only $4.00, half price (plus I got another member discount so all was good). I had hoped to find one of the knitting or crochet page-a-days left but there were not any. This ended up disappointing me so the next day I went to another larger book store to see if they had any. They did not.
I was surprised at how much this started to bother me. I wanted one of these calendars and regretted not getting one earlier. They feature almost daily knitting/crochet patterns and pack a lot of bang into your buck. You're basically getting 100+ patterns for just $16.00 (full cost). I was disappointed and could have lived with not having one of those calendars this year - so be it - it wasn't the year for excess spending, think ahead to next year. But then I remembered that in past years they've had those stores in the mall that solely sell calendars at this time. So I said, "What the heck," I'll make a quick run to the mall and check it out.
Along with winter, I'm not a mall person. Just don't enjoy going to them and haven't for many years. I prefer hitting the smaller strip malls or to order by catalog. I was on a mission - to see if there was a calendar store and to get in and out as soon as possible. I entered the mall through a large department store and have to say that I did gaze longingly at the cute pajamas they had on sale for 70% off. Then when I walked through the fragrance section, I did think about how nice it would be to be able to afford a new scent. But for the time being I am doing okay using what I already have. And it does ultimately end up feeling better to use what I have!
Just a short distance away from this store was the calendar store and I purchased two page-a-day ones. I got the last knitting one they had and the crochet one, of which there were several. They were half-price so I paid $16.00 for both. I figure that ends up to be about 5 cents a day for a whole lot of enjoyment throughout the year. When I put the cost factor into it, I was able to justify the purchase. Making this purchase was also more meaningful because of the savings, as well as the fact that I'd had to search for the product after making the conscious decision that it was something that I really wanted and would miss if I didn't have. In the past, I'd just pick up one of the calendars back in October - it was a taken for granted, almost mindless purchase. This time is different. I am grateful that I found the calendars and that I'll be able to enjoy them all year. And again I am struck by the reality that it is often the little things that end up meaning the most. I also recently read that "the high" we obtain from material items is very short-lived. I found that once I got out of the sleepware and frangrance departments, I didn't really have any desire for pjs or a new bottle of perfume. Out of sight, out of mind.
Part of me wrestles with whether I should have restrained myself from making this purchase. After all, it wasn't entirely necessary. The datebook was what I really needed. But then I go back to the 5 cents a day cost and tell myself that indeed, it is worth that small cost. Even in the middle of struggles, whatever they may be, there have to be ways that we can treat ourselves and nurture our souls.
Today I am grateful that:
1. The snowstorm wasn't as bad as predicted.
2. Already the worst week of the entire year (in my opinion) is over!
3. There was one knitting calendar left and I got it.
4. The boys are getting caught up with their school work.
5. I don't have to shovel myself out as I did when I was a homeowner (at least one perk to renting).
Monday, December 28, 2009
Running In Place
This morning I went to my dermatologist to have him check out some growths on my thigh I became concerned about. Skin cancer runs in my family and I had a mole removed a couple years ago, also on my leg. I figured I needed to know whether I needed to be worried before canceling my health insurance. My doctor has been out of the country for the last month and a half so worrying about this has been in the back of my mind. It turns out the growths aren't even moles but are caused by insect bites. And that my doctor does not take my insurance anyway. He accepts Blue Cross Blue Shield but I have BCBS - Select and he doesn't take that one. So much for the $350.00 a month I am paying for health insurance. I can't afford it but am so fearful of not having it, especially because of my husband's long illness and then when my youngest got diagnosed with Long QT Syndrome.
While on the road, my bankruptcy atty. called me and we talked about my not being able to afford the filing right now. I have received two checks totaling almost $1,000.00 from the mortgage lender from when I sold the house. But I am unable to cash them because they are made out to the estate of my deceased husband (and with no will or estate set up my bank won't cash them). My attorney said he would prepare and file a small estate affidavit for me free of charge if necessary.
Then I went to State Farm to discuss options for car and health insurance. I want to suspend the ins. on my beater car and just start using the van. I also requested that my oldest be taken off the policy just for now, until I get a job. But apparently there were problems doing that. I still have to figure that out. My agent warned me to not cancel my health ins. before being accepted for another plan so I've kept the Blue Cross for now although I am starting to have panic attacks about not being able to afford it, having the payment bounce and then getting prosecuted for writing bad checks and then not being able to find work because I'll have a criminal record... Oh lord, the worry just doesn't cease.
I stopped by a local resource center to check into benefits. The food pantry had just closed but is open every Mon. and Wed. I am no longer ashamed to apply for any type of assistance.
I called up my old mortgage lender to see if they would reissue the checks but they will not because my husband was the only name on the mortgage. They suggested I stop by one of their facilities that operates as a bank. I did so but it turns out the place is not affiliated with the mortgage branch so they could not help me.
Then I seemed to remember having filled out a small estate affidavit at some time, so went to the storage shed and took stuff out and found a box of old records but no such affidavit. It was snowy and cold and I could not get all the stuff I took out back in so I ended up with storage boxes in the van and will have to figure out where to store them now because I am not going back to the shed any time soon. That was pretty depressing!
Sam called to tell me he was thinking of me and understands my low mood and feelings. He wants me to come over tomorrow and stay through Wed. as his son will be with him and he has to work Wed. The boys have found friends to stay with so I will go tomorrow. I told him we have to sit down and really discuss this move and whether or not it is going to happen. We also need to discuss finances and the whole nine yards. He agrees. I know he believes it best that I bite the bullet and move but he also gets my hesitation because of the boys.
During the afternoon I stopped by a large nursing facility to see what positions they have open for Nursing Assistants. There are some during the day shift, part-time only. When I got home, I spent a larger part of the afternoon than was fun tearing through my paperwork to try and find some old check stubs from the big box store that I need for the bankruptcy filing. With the move and all the crap in the storage sheds, it appears next to impossible to locate anything that I need. So I will have to call corporate for copies as I am not opening that storage shed until spring!
My oldest is sleeping over at a friend's. My youngest and I heated up the turkey and trimmings leftovers my friend gave us for the second time.
In the old days, just a few short years ago, a day like today would have been spent browsing at Barnes and Noble, eating lunch out and then seeing what was on sale at Talbot's. I would have struggled with the decision of whether or not to buy one or two sweaters, or maybe even three. Ah, the good old days.
While on the road, my bankruptcy atty. called me and we talked about my not being able to afford the filing right now. I have received two checks totaling almost $1,000.00 from the mortgage lender from when I sold the house. But I am unable to cash them because they are made out to the estate of my deceased husband (and with no will or estate set up my bank won't cash them). My attorney said he would prepare and file a small estate affidavit for me free of charge if necessary.
Then I went to State Farm to discuss options for car and health insurance. I want to suspend the ins. on my beater car and just start using the van. I also requested that my oldest be taken off the policy just for now, until I get a job. But apparently there were problems doing that. I still have to figure that out. My agent warned me to not cancel my health ins. before being accepted for another plan so I've kept the Blue Cross for now although I am starting to have panic attacks about not being able to afford it, having the payment bounce and then getting prosecuted for writing bad checks and then not being able to find work because I'll have a criminal record... Oh lord, the worry just doesn't cease.
I stopped by a local resource center to check into benefits. The food pantry had just closed but is open every Mon. and Wed. I am no longer ashamed to apply for any type of assistance.
I called up my old mortgage lender to see if they would reissue the checks but they will not because my husband was the only name on the mortgage. They suggested I stop by one of their facilities that operates as a bank. I did so but it turns out the place is not affiliated with the mortgage branch so they could not help me.
Then I seemed to remember having filled out a small estate affidavit at some time, so went to the storage shed and took stuff out and found a box of old records but no such affidavit. It was snowy and cold and I could not get all the stuff I took out back in so I ended up with storage boxes in the van and will have to figure out where to store them now because I am not going back to the shed any time soon. That was pretty depressing!
Sam called to tell me he was thinking of me and understands my low mood and feelings. He wants me to come over tomorrow and stay through Wed. as his son will be with him and he has to work Wed. The boys have found friends to stay with so I will go tomorrow. I told him we have to sit down and really discuss this move and whether or not it is going to happen. We also need to discuss finances and the whole nine yards. He agrees. I know he believes it best that I bite the bullet and move but he also gets my hesitation because of the boys.
During the afternoon I stopped by a large nursing facility to see what positions they have open for Nursing Assistants. There are some during the day shift, part-time only. When I got home, I spent a larger part of the afternoon than was fun tearing through my paperwork to try and find some old check stubs from the big box store that I need for the bankruptcy filing. With the move and all the crap in the storage sheds, it appears next to impossible to locate anything that I need. So I will have to call corporate for copies as I am not opening that storage shed until spring!
My oldest is sleeping over at a friend's. My youngest and I heated up the turkey and trimmings leftovers my friend gave us for the second time.
In the old days, just a few short years ago, a day like today would have been spent browsing at Barnes and Noble, eating lunch out and then seeing what was on sale at Talbot's. I would have struggled with the decision of whether or not to buy one or two sweaters, or maybe even three. Ah, the good old days.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
More thoughts on hair cuts
As I admired my great looking hair today, (I may be poor but at least my hair looks good), I thought about how this subject relates to so much more in life, specifically in regard to poverty. Although I was trying to be conscientious by not getting my hair cut to save money, this tactic was actually detrimental. Having straggly hair meant I was having to use more product to style it as well as more time to do so. I also wasn't getting that lift you feel when you look in the mirror and know that you're looking good. This same principal can be applied elsewhere. When you're scrimping for funds there is nothing left over to keep up the house and by the time repairs can be made they end up being more costly and difficult. Not being able to replace clothing means having to mend them (which takes time) as well as looking shabbier. I put off going to the doctor for my routine checkup and I am thankful that there were no problems because if there had been it would have been worse because of the time I had waited. The same could be said for car maintenance. I'm not sure what the solution is because when you don't have money you don't have money. Maybe it is just to be aware that sometimes you have to spend money to save money and to not feel guilty for getting a hair cut or buying one of the boys a new pair of jeans because you are sick of mending them!
Today I am thankful:
1. That my boys and I are healthy.
2. That my van with 96,000 miles is still running pretty decently.
3. That I have a number of very close, dear girlfriends who have supported me during my dark times and been there for me when no one else was.
Today I am thankful:
1. That my boys and I are healthy.
2. That my van with 96,000 miles is still running pretty decently.
3. That I have a number of very close, dear girlfriends who have supported me during my dark times and been there for me when no one else was.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Pickles
Today, I went to the store for ground turkey and frozen french fries. I planned to make Sloppy Joe sandwiches because I had the sauce mix in the pantry, canned corn and some cheddar cheese. The store I went to sells ground turkey from the meat counter for only $2.19 a pound, which is less than the $3.49 per pound I pay at the main chain stores. As I went through the store, I could not remember if we had dill pickle slices in the refrigerator. When we have Sloppy Joes we have to have pickle slices topping them! I figured that I could pick up a small jar of pickles but changed my mind when the only jars available were larger sized for $3.00. Although disappointed, I figured we'd be o.k. with just cheese as a topping. Picking out the bag of fries, I chose the cheapest one at $1.69.
When I got home I rummaged through the entire frige and on the top shelf in the back located a full jar of pickles! Our main meal was saved and I was grateful I hadn't given in and spent $3.00 on the jar at the store. To round out our meal, I cooked the corn along with a can of cheap pork & beans and for some reason they tasted more delicious than I've ever remembered them tasting. I suppose it doesn't take much to please when you don't have a lot of options to choose from. We made do and it was fine.
Tonight it'll be cereal if anyone is hungry. This week's goal is to clean out the pantry/freezer and use up what's there before getting anything at the store. I am feeling challenged at seeing how many meals I can concoct out of eggs and turkey hot dogs!
When I got home I rummaged through the entire frige and on the top shelf in the back located a full jar of pickles! Our main meal was saved and I was grateful I hadn't given in and spent $3.00 on the jar at the store. To round out our meal, I cooked the corn along with a can of cheap pork & beans and for some reason they tasted more delicious than I've ever remembered them tasting. I suppose it doesn't take much to please when you don't have a lot of options to choose from. We made do and it was fine.
Tonight it'll be cereal if anyone is hungry. This week's goal is to clean out the pantry/freezer and use up what's there before getting anything at the store. I am feeling challenged at seeing how many meals I can concoct out of eggs and turkey hot dogs!
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