World Place

I was reading before bed last night - Claire Cook's "Must Love Dogs" and a passage really struck me. It contained the word "world" and I knew that would be the "W" word I would post about today.

"I even missed Kevin. No, it was more that I missed the idea of a Kevin. Having a husband, even one I barely talked to, had given me a certain status, a respectability, a belonging. I had a place in the world. I knew what I'd be doing tomorrow, even if it wasn't particularly interesting."

Having a place in the world. Somehow I seem to have lost that place since my husband's death and then losing another to divorce. At least that is what it feels like to me. To be floating around in this vast world without that deep connection to another being. I feel without roots, powerless. My identity and worth was so tied up within my marriage.

It was good to read these words and gain new understanding and perspective as to how I feel and see myself. Good to see how someone else expresses these emotions and to be able to grasp the meaning at such a deep level.

Of course I know that I am important just by myself. That my life has value and meaning. I've done the best I can to raise two young boys to be productive citizens of the world. That is worth something. But when all is said and done, I realize for me the value and importance of being connected to someone within a relationship/marriage. There is no shame in admitting or needing that. It is who I am. A widow wanting out of widowhood.

Word Power

I miss my daily nature walks but at 7 degrees I do not enjoy going outside at all! I find that I am drawn to pots of evergreen, probably because they are the closest I am going to get to nature until it warms up a bit. This morning before work, I checked my email and read two that really touched me. One was from a newsletter I get from Lissa Coffey, author; very into kindness, spiritual growth, compassion. You can look her up at CoffeyTalk.com. Today's message was about change. "Everything is connected...No one thing can change by itself. Paul Hawken" Her message goes on to say that through the words of her newsletter, people are connecting all over the world. "The internet has made the world much smaller, so that we can experience our connection with each other more tangibly. And...as our community grows, and we each experience our own spiritual growth, we affect change in our world. Little by little, one by one, we are making a difference. And as the world changes, it inspires us as we see the possibilities, and we continue on our journey."

Wow! Talk about being blown away at 7:00 a.m.! I identify with Coffey's insight because I see blogging as a way of connecting with the larger world. I know that I hope my words reach others in good ways and that I have been touched by the words of others.

Some weeks back I had that chance encounter with two women from a neighboring town involved in a knitting club and got put on a weekly mailing list. Over the course of a few weeks, the initial emails I was receiving have increased. Now, I receive emails from other members of the group. I like this! I am benefiting from this group before I've even attended a single meeting! One email from last week, also struck me. The woman wrote about her knitting and how as she knit, she was reminiscing about her mother, now deceased. She reflected that she wished she had not been so at odds with her mother in the past because she misses her so much now.

Finally the second email from this morning was a lovely surprise Christmas greeting from a male friend, who graduated from the University of Missouri. He talked a little about some of the highlights from the past football season then wrote: "As all Mizzou fans know, we cherish our highlights because they seem to quickly disappear...we live to enjoy the moment! Everyone - enjoy your moments with your family and friends this holiday season...there is no better gift! Be safe."

Sometimes I find the words of others to be more profound than my own and so I pass them on here. I am grateful for the messages I receive via the internet, email and blogging throughout the year. I do believe, that change and kindness begin in each of us and that all of us have the power to bring more of the positive into the world. Here are three examples, four if you count this blog post of that occurring.