Small Accomplishments

The sink in the upstairs bathroom became clogged some days back. I told the boys I would not be able to attend to it until after the mediation because we were out of Drain-o and I just didn't want to have to focus on it. I was having enough trouble just maintaining my sanity in the days leading up to the mediation. Plus, I will admit that I do not just jump up and immediately replace that burned out light bulb. I think in a way my not attending to these household tasks is a way that I protest the death of Husband #1. He always took care of the household and yard stuff, the repairs, painting, clogged toilets, etc. I actually feel resentful when I am forced to take care of them now!

Yesterday I submitted myself to the needed task, especially after having heard that my youngest had not brushed his teeth in two days because he could not be bothered to take his toothbrush downstairs. My efforts at trying to dislodge the backup were unsuccessful so I had to get Drain-o. I became worried that the clog was too impacted and I'd have to come up with the cost for a plumber. But the first application of Drain-o worked and I was relieved.

This occurrence has meaning because for me it symbolizes that despite the end of my marriage and all this hardship that we are facing that at least the bathroom sink became unclogged. A small victory representing success even in the face of failure - a paradox so to speak. But this small victory to me represents a belief that the other clogs and hardships in our life will be eventually also fixed. And right now I need to have something to hold on to with that belief and if it can come from unclogging a bathroom sink I'm going to take it!