Black Friday Blues

I am feeling that crash that sometimes comes after a big event or holiday celebration. For a day your cares and worries are put aside and then you wake up with the same issues and problems briefly forgotten and end up feeling worse!

The boys are grumpy too but went to the gym to work out and hopefully release some of their tensions. I am trying not to mope and have vowed to keep active today and do what I can - wash dishes, try out a soup recipe, knit, clean, read. It is a bit cold but a walk would probably do me a world of good right now so I'll put that on the table too.

The point being, I don't want to just despair and feel helpless. Even accomplishing the dishes and having a clean sink is something. I could lie down and do nothing and tomorrow end up with having to do the dishes anyway. Activity vs. inactivity, no matter how insignificant or mindless it seems. Distraction too - trying to keep my mind focused on other things than the normal anxieties and worries like trying the soup recipe.

The Black Friday ads really have bummed me out and bothered me this year. I didn't notice them last year or maybe with the move and school I just wasn't watching as much t.v. I just know this season, since Halloween, I have absolutely despised that TJ Maxx commercial with the carolers on the escalator. All the ads depict happy moms (mostly) looking forward to shopping for their "normal" families. I am not one of those normal moms and I am poor besides. Looking at these manufactured glimpses of what we're supposed to be has resulted in my feeling worse about myself and my situation even though I know it is all just Hollywood advertising hype and hoopla.

I know retailers are trying to get shoppers in early because of the Recession. But what happens when you are one of those struggling Americans grateful for food on the table much less gifts? I fear this will be year number three with no gifts under our tree and it is hitting me hard. I view these happy actors in the t.v. ads and think I need to feel as joyful as they are but am so consumed with the reality of my life that of course, I can't. Anyway, they are just actors (but at least they had a paying job!).

Well, enough of this. I read something a few months back that rather upset me. I don't remember where it was from, probably a magazine article or maybe on the internet. Anyway, it was for single moms with the message of how important it is for us to continue holiday traditions and to make sure we observe the holidays for our kids. As if we need that added pressure added to our plates I mused! My boys are older, but it is still difficult to be in a situation where there isn't anything left even for a modest gift or two. I have looked into a couple of holiday programs in my area but they only provide gifts for kids ages 12 and under.

These past few years have been even more difficult for single and only parents because of unemployment and the Recession. I find it hard to put on a happy, holiday, cheerful face. But I will try. There is still the possibility that our family will be chosen to be adopted by a business. And if not, I'll have to put on that game face and do the best I can under extremely limited and reduced circumstances. In the meantime, I'm going to turn off the t.v. whenever one of those fake and phony ads come on.