Doing Nothing

There is a woman in my neighborhood I pass by everyday and oftentimes she is sitting out on her porch doing nothing! I have seen this for many years and it has always stuck me. How can she do nothing? No book in hand, no craft project. She does smoke though.

This astounds me! I am always doing something. For instance, watching t.v. while knitting and during the commercials reading. When my husband was still alive I worked 20 hours outside the home and volunteered at least 10 hours weekly at the boys' school. Then I also volunteered with abused and neglected kids in my community. Since my husband's death my free time has dwindled even more. There just isn't any. A lot of my knitting only gets done while watching one of the boys play sports.

I am in the last push of the moving process and it seems as though it won't get done. I am so tired and ache all over. My bones and muscles hurt. The garage is almost finished but I still have to pack and somewhat clean the house. I think I will have to have the movers do some of the packing because it looks as though I will fall short. The buyers are coming for the inspection tomorrow and it'll be what it will be. I can only accomplish so much of this on my own (the story of my life as a widow). I have somewhat reached the point of not caring anymore and feeling numb.

I want to be like the woman I see on the porch - doing absolutely nothing except watch the cars and people go by. Is her housework actually completed? Doesn't she have bills to pay or some photos to put away in her album? I am envious of her ability to sit and only sit. I have done so much in the past years and am still doing too much. I just want to sit and sit doing absolutely nothing! Well, maybe sit and work on a jigsaw puzzle. That would kind of be like doing nothing.

Today I am thankful:

1. For the sounds of the insects that come out at night.
2. For being able to give some more scrap metal to another scavenger passing by today.
3. For the unbelievable customer service I received at Home Depot buying packing supplies - I was treated like a queen and considering I looked like hell that was a nice thing.
4. For the browning Lazy Susan flowers I saw that just a few days ago were vibrant and bright. The season is changing.
5. Applesauce and all things apple.