The last day of a typically snowy, wintry month. Only today it hit 56 degrees. What a heat wave in the middle of winter! My husband used to always say spring really began on February 15th. He was a big conservationist and believed in climate change, which my son says replaced the old term "Global Warming." But I wish I could have proved him wrong about his own personal spring theory. Because the past eight years since his death, the winters have been especially harsh. So this winter has really been a big blessing for me. One less obstacle to deal with in widowhood land.On top of everyday life, being a widow in winter brings on the ever cold bed that once was so much warmer when shared with a partner. There is the rash of holidays starting with the early Thanksgiving and ending with Valentine's Day. For me in the Midwest there is the added car maintenance and worry about driving in hazardous weather. The days are so long, overcast and dark. Well, enough description, you get the idea - I am depressing myself!
We use certain days as markers in our lives. I have always used Valentine's Day not to mark the end of winter, as my husband did, but to symbolize that the end is near. In recent years, I have come to believe that if I can make it to Feb. 15th, the worst is over and I'll survive the final month to spring.
My husband and I used to always write down the first day we noticed that the grass was really green. It would usually fall around March 21st. I would mark the date on a post it note, then put it up on the fridge and throughout the next winter glance at that date with hope. I kept the last post it note from the spring before my husband died up on the fridge until we moved from our home. And then I took it down and put it with paperwork to be saved, though where it is now, I haven't a clue. But when I move, unpack and eventually come across that note, I will put it back up on my new fridge.
In the meantime, just 14 days til V-Day, which I no longer look at so much as a romantic holiday. But it is still okay to look at it as a beacon of light shining through the winter gloom and illuminating the green of March!
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ReplyDeleteIt is interesting how we mark seasons. I always looked forward to preseason football games starting up because that meant fall was just around the corner and living in the south, I SO looked forward to cooler/colder weather. Though I do enjoy spring, it is much too short and then summer is here. I do not like heat and humidity. I find summer to be my "gloomy" season. Our "winter" has been pretty mild, tomorrow near 70, but 40's on Saturday. I am still busy sorting and packing -- a slow process -- overwhelming. Hoping to get my house up for sale by spring. I am glad you have much to look forward to as spring approaches. Am excited to hear all that comes about!
ReplyDeleteBeth - I forgot about your moving. Even though we moved just three years ago from house to smaller quarters, I have to now gear up to repack, regroup and move again to a new rural community and hopefully a house! The moving process was so overwhelming for me and I have a storage shed to prove it - in the end, running out of time, stuff just got tossed in there willy-nilly. I do think it is much harder to tackle moving on one's own so I'll be thinking of you. Maybe we can inspire each other along the way? I know I keep putting off the sorting since my move is a few months off. But if I don't start it will end up like last time, where I run out of time and just start throwing things into boxes rather than sorting them, etc. Good luck and so good to hear from you!
ReplyDeleteFebruary is a really long month--I never thought of the 14th as the end of winter, just that I only had half a month left to survive until spring temperatures might come by for a brief visit.
ReplyDeleteI am 19 months into my widowhood with 3 little girls aged 4-10. Difficult does not begin to describe this journey. I want to thank you for sharing your journey. It's painful for me to read because I empathize and understand yet it inspires me to keep moving forward. You are in my prayers tonight.
ReplyDelete-Wid from WA
Judy - I often think of you and send "warm" thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteWid from Wa - It always pains me to hear from other widows despite the fact that this is a blog devoted to widowhood. I blog to help me process my own life and keep upright on this difficult path. I know other bloggers have inspired me along the way and if I have provided you with that I am glad. I will add you to my prayers as well.