Feeling a bit down today, in contrast to this smiling snowman fella. It gets dark so early and most days are overcast. I dread the cold and upcoming snow, although am grateful none has really fallen yet and that it will be a warm week with rain even. This is a tough time of year for some of us. It takes tremendous emotional energy to get through certain time periods like the holidays. It is hard to describe to the non-widowed. Moving alone through the holidays can bring on a whole new set of feelings of loss and vulnerability.I think for me, the key will be going back to school and becoming involved in establishing myself in a new career. Part of my angst I find comes from feeling so out of it in regard to career and not having anything to ground me and keep me focused. I so wish I was already back to school. Gosh, another holiday season to get through again. How I long for the day when it isn't like this. When I'm feeling productive and eager to start the day instead of down and out, willing the days to be over.
For now, it is just marking the long, dark, cold days...
I could have written this post! I get so mad with myself for not feeling more "normal" six years on. Winter is always a miserable time, with the constant fear of snow or flood, and the long, dark nights...never mind, only ten more days till the Sun starts to come back and the light returns :)
ReplyDeletePuddock - For me too, I am always on guard for a possible fall on the ice. If that happened I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't able to drive and get around! Despite the gloom of these sentiments, it is at least something to know that I'm not the only one in this vast world out there feeling this way - that does help, really!
ReplyDeleteYou feel daft, don't you, creeping about like an old lady when there's ice underfoot. I hate winter now and I know that's mainly because I have to face every hazard alone. Stay safe!
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