Today was a rough start to the day. The van had trouble starting, my youngest kept imploring that he had to get to school earlier than usual, and the van needed to be scraped. In all the hustle and bustle, my oldest left the lunch I made for him at home and sent me a text which said if I couldn't drop it off at school he'd "find" food. But good mom that I try to be I dropped it off at 10 a.m. It was amusing for me to see that there were about 20 other lunch bags sitting on the counter in the office, and the secretary told me it had been a bad day for kids forgetting their lunches. So I got a hearty laugh out of that. Still, the incident took a little bit more out of me. Always doing, always running. Little time for rest or restoration. Pulling up the slack when it is needed like when kids forget their lunches. Busy mornings happen to us all. Today was one of ours. But sometimes I just want someone to do something for me. Just pick up the slack for me once in awhile, especially when I'm feeling drained and weary - and I might add a little grumpy too.
Which brings me to the topic of cookies. I was given a Christmas gift that is made up of cookie baking items; flour, sugar, sprinkles, vanilla and the like. This person meant very well and was so excited to give me an opportunity "to bake Christmas memories with my sons!" I hate what I am going to end up saying here but I don't want to make any cookies right now. I have all this stuff in my pantry already and am too tired to mess up the kitchen any more than the messiness it already exhibits.
Any task that involves extra work or steps right now is a total turn-off to me. I wish someone would just give me some cookies. I don't want to have to go through the process of making them. It is kind of like being given a bunch of yarn and told to knit your own scarf. I know not exactly the same but similar to how I feel about this. I need more relaxation and simplicity in my life right now and already made is just fine in my book! Personally, for me, standing at the stove making sure the cookies don't burn and putting them in the oven at 10-minute intervals is way more stressful and far more relaxing to me is the image of opening a box of holiday themed cookies and sitting down with one with a cup of tea.
I wonder if I could pass on this bounty to my son's girlfriend with the instructions that the two of them spend some time in the kitchen baking me a batch of cookies that they can then give to my as my gift! Now there is a thought! Let the young folk enjoy baking since they haven't been doing much of it in their lives yet, and leave the tired, drained moms out of it.
On another note, the nice knitting friend I've made emailed last night to see how I've been and to ask if I am going to start taking some Library Assistant classes. She told me it is one of the best things she has ever done and wanted to encourage me to consider it. She totally understood my reasoning and hesitation for not wanting to start the group in December. I was reminded again of how we "think" in similar ways when she wrote about taking a knitting class to learn a new technique. She said it was one of her New Year's resolutions and that she only believes in making resolutions that involve new learning or exploring. No forbidden eating or restrictive diets for her! And I totally agree with that. Resolve to do new things, take chances, explore different possibilities rather restricting yourself and telling yourself what you can't do. Then punishing yourself when you fail besides. For years one of my ongoing resolutions has been to teach myself how to juggle. This past year, one of my resolutions was to make donuts (not cookies) because I've never made them and wanted the challenge. I have failed to fulfill these resolutions. Maybe when I get away for a few days over the holidays I'll bring my How to Juggle kit with me and Sam's son and I will spend some time trying to learn - he might enjoy that. As for the donuts, a deep fryer and a waffle maker remain on my wish list. I could try frying the donuts in a pan. What the heck? I'll add that to the possible ideas of what to do on a cold, winter day for cheap entertainment. Maybe some of that flour and sugar will get turned into donuts!
Spunky! Confident! I'm with ya, WitM. I've been sending you and your prospective employer positive thoughts. They'd be lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteI laughed with you about the cookie ingredient gift. Yes, the last thing we need is another to-do. I received a similar gift from a well meaning individual. I thought the same thing as you - Just bring me the loaf of bread!
I'm vulnerable in different ways than you are right now, but I'm glad you've knit together this community of woman recovering from loss on your blog. I hope you share this significant accomplishment in your social work interviews.
Learning to juggle will be really fun if you can do it. I taught myself the summer I was 13 (ruining most of a 5-lb. bag of oranges in the process) and all these years later, I still enjoy pulling it out as a party trick. It's relaxing, too, in an almost hypnotic way.
ReplyDeleteFlo - Thank you so, so much for telling me about the bread. It makes me feel far less guilty for being somewhat ungrateful for a gift given with good intentions but from someone who doesn't really know what it is like to add another to-do to the pile. I laughed too!
ReplyDeleteI like the way you described knitting a group of people together via this blog. I never thought of it that way but it is a nice visual for me since I'm a knitter.
Vanessa - From your description it sounds as though learning to juggle doesn't just happen and takes some practice. It'll be a fun activity to try. I like the party trick aspect of it or that I could use it with a future client in some way. Heck, I just like saying to people that my resolution is to learn how to juggle!