Another One Bites the Dust

My close girlfriend's ex-husband just lost his job. He was the Art/Advertising Director for a family owned mid-sized Chicago area company. Been there about 8 years. Here is the deal - two, young people have been hired to replace him, each at half his salary. So the company is getting two employee's basically for the price of one. This concept blows me away! Now we've got another talented, experienced 50-year-old dad with kids in college out of work. Way to go world, economy and recession! He is getting paid his salary until August so has some income for the next three and a half months. But still.

I went to a job fair today at a nursing home. The experience sobered me. It had a meat market feeling to it - they interviewed three of us in the same room, at the same time. I was told that this was a screening interview and they'd get back if interested within the next day or two. There weren't tons of applicants there, and I was glad I made the effort to go and get out there. I don't think I impressed the young woman interviewing me. What I felt afterward was gratefulness that I even have the crappy job I have now. It is brutal out there.

I am trying to pump myself up with kudos that only weeks after moving, I went back to school for a short-term program that I knew would get me work. And I did find a job within a month of my starting to look. Granted, this is not the be all, end all job of my life. But it is respectful and honorable work. What I am beginning to realize is how hard it will be to procure a job in my professional field. What you need in this job market is lots of time and energy - both of which I have little of right now. I think too, that emotional support from family, friends or a partner is also key. It is so easy to get discouraged and depleted looking for work in this environment. And that is another strike against my situation.

I need to build up my base of contacts again and want to take a class at the community college this summer because that has been a way that has always done this for me in the past. But again, the lack of time is the monkey wrench. Today's excursion took a big chunk of my day off from work and all that needs to be done at home is still waiting to get done. BIG SIGH.

Another recent goal that has to be attained is my getting my counseling credentials updated. I have no clue how to go about this and taking a class would expose me to other people in the same boat. Plus, I could get assistance/guidance from the class instructors.

Well, those are the current goals that are being formulated for now. Just another hurdle in the life of a middle-aged widowed mom with two active teen boys. I do get so frustrated with the busyness of life and the reality that there just isn't enough time in which to get it all done. There is calling the school for various issues related to attendance and class registration, dealing with doctors and the pharmacy, making sure kids have clean clothes and sports uniforms.

So many people out there are struggling with the recession and job loss. I have read that every adult in our country knows someone out of work. Tough, challenging times are best faced with support and strength in numbers. I am feeling so depleted and drained working and trying to find a better, more suitable position. While the prospect of moving forward with taking a class and getting my license in order is stimulating and positive, the reality of it also overwhelms and frustrates me.

This widowhood gig is already a job. I feel as though all I ever do is work and worry. It is tough to juggle so many responsibilities single handed and then have so little free time or a chance to recoup/relax. Working outside the home is a job on top of another job already in place. Living with a partner would undoubtedly make the everydayness of life much more manageable. I will kiss the ground my future husband walks on if I am fortunate enough to someday remarry (I'm totally serious). For those with partners, please be grateful for the fact that household jobs and tasks are divided to some degree. And to have someone to talk to at day's end about the job fair and job hunting plans is immeasurable. Don't take your marriages and the perks that go along with them for granted.