Today was a big fake show at work because some of the bigwigs were in from corporate. Ever since my husband's death I have despised stuff like this. We had extra employees in and managers to wait on customers hand and foot. People worked all night to stock and clean the store. Is this the way it normally is? Hardly. I just want life and people to be honest and real - to tell it like it is. This all reminded me of how people really clean up their houses before company comes. What does it matter if the papers are strewn across the table 99% of the time anyway? Why do we have to pretend that things are better than they are? I just felt annoyed by all of the show and the pomp and circumstance because it is phony.
During the morning I waited on a woman I refer to as "The Purple Lady." I have seen her before in town (although maybe there is more than one person like this). She dresses totally in purple and has dyed her hair purple. When I saw her some months back she also had purple shoes and a purple purse. Today she did not, although she did buy purple paper to wrap up the gift she was purchasing. I refrained from asking if purple is her favorite color. I had to admire her for going all out as she does.
I happen to love the color green and pretty much choose that color when buying anything. A few years ago I caught sight of myself in a full-length store mirror and freaked myself out a bit because I was dressed head-to-toe in green with a green purse and shoes besides. I then decided to try and wear more colors and have done a pretty good job of it. Since my husband's death I have steadfastly reused to wear any black clothes or carry a black purse (I want to have colors surround me).
The Purple Lady was being true to herself and expressing who she is visually. She has the strength to even color her hair purple! There is some real coolness in that versus the charade that was played out today at the store pretending we have three managers on hand in the front every day to service customers. I far more admire Purple Lady for her truth and honesty to herself. We all need to follow more of her example.
Today I am grateful:
1. For Sunflowers and Lazy Susan flowers (beautiful in summer).
2. For umbrellas.
3. For applesauce.
4. For nail files.
5. For scissors.
i'm glad you found something good in today. i wrote to you on your previous blog. i hope you found it.
ReplyDeleteit's funny you mention black. i've always worn black, ever since my first husband told me i was fat and ugly. at the time, my daughter was 3 weeks old and i was still getting over the c-section. i was tired and hoping i was doing everything right as a new mother. i became embarrassed so i started wearing black to hid my body.
the first thing my second husband, my Marine, bought me was an awful turquoise sundress with bright white flowers. it fit perfectly and i was surprised to see myself in the mirror. i wasn't fat. i wasn't that ugly. it took a while though for me to see myself through his eyes. but i did a little bit. more than i ever had. less than he wanted. he was still working with me when he died.
i miss him. i miss his words of comfort. i have pulled out a few of my black t-shirts again. i don't know why. i think i'm tired and my ex is pulling me back into the abyss. but my mother of the bride dress is a very calm light robin's egg blue. i had my Marine in mind when i bought it.
thank you for the example of the purple lady
I am so glad to hear from you - I've been thinking of you and worrying because I haven't been able to access your most recent post. I'm thankful you got through the Anniversary Date.
ReplyDeleteYour Marine saw your inner and outer beauty and was showing you that when he got you the sundress.
I hope you are doing okay today.