tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post7929854434127558159..comments2024-03-06T03:23:51.904-08:00Comments on Surviving Middle-Aged Widowhood: Can We Please Be Real!Widow in the Middlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-2551527692895259722010-05-23T14:36:19.980-07:002010-05-23T14:36:19.980-07:00Well, he was a pretty offbeat person. A 60-someth...Well, he was a pretty offbeat person. A 60-something new-agey type of guy who believed that just acting happy would make everything go well in your life. Yeah. Right. :-)<br />Actually, he was basically an okay guy, but just not very realistic and quite self-centered even though he would never see that in himself.bevhttp://magickcanoe.com/blog11noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-68215994654575446442010-05-23T12:16:22.359-07:002010-05-23T12:16:22.359-07:00Bev - What an utterly bizarre guy and situation th...Bev - What an utterly bizarre guy and situation that you describe! Especially, his comments that you were bringing him down & his comparison to his 90-year-old father. Clueless and selfish besides. You'd think he'd have made an effort to try and attend to you, your emotions/needs instead of his own!Widow in the Middlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-11164406761570191462010-05-23T11:57:29.307-07:002010-05-23T11:57:29.307-07:00It amazes me when people are so quick to say, &quo...It amazes me when people are so quick to say, "Just get on with it!" Three months after Don died, while I was in the southwest for the winter, a friend of a friend came to visit for what was supposed to be a few days of couchsurfing. Not only did he overstay his welcome, but he kept nagging at me to "get out and get on with your life!" He got angry at me for not going out to celebrate new year's at an event in the town where I stay and told me I was "bringing him down with my bummer attitude." He compared losing my husband to his losing his 90 year old father to Alzheimers a couple of years before. It was all so bizarre, but actually not all that far from the opinion that a lot of people have about how we should race at break-neck speed to get over our losses. I barely know what to say to these people anymore. Mostly, I just ignore them. A friend of mine who was a high school guidance counselor for many years used to say "look where it's coming from" when someone said something insulting or hurtful. How true. When someone has not endured a loss similar to mine, they speak with zero authority on how I should carry on alone.bevhttp://magickcanoe.com/blog11noreply@blogger.com