tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post6600445358998598306..comments2024-03-06T03:23:51.904-08:00Comments on Surviving Middle-Aged Widowhood: Same Old, Same OldWidow in the Middlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-35547667117283026522010-09-19T18:36:50.285-07:002010-09-19T18:36:50.285-07:00If you are up to it, do a trial and error explorat...If you are up to it, do a trial and error exploration of dressing up your blog. There are lots of online tutorials. Once I started fooling around with it, I found it irresistible, it is so much fun to experiment with all the different elements. There is a ton of free stuff out there too.Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10106720865034468249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-43594459274917079902010-09-18T12:27:05.709-07:002010-09-18T12:27:05.709-07:00ARB, Beth and Jen - You guys are lovely, thoughtfu...ARB, Beth and Jen - You guys are lovely, thoughtful lifesavers. I don't know what to say or how to comment. I need to think about your kindness. My first response is that what I receive in terms from comments to this blog is more than enough and a gift in and of itself. Let me sit and reflect on your generosity - I have never been one of those people in favor of the tip jars at Starbuck's. Anyway, for now let me assure you that your kindness is already a great and treasured gift and I thank you.Widow in the Middlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-6995997919485171532010-09-18T12:22:49.945-07:002010-09-18T12:22:49.945-07:00Bev - Thank you for all of your ideas and sensible...Bev - Thank you for all of your ideas and sensible feedback. It is always reassuring and solid.Widow in the Middlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-73505229145136742562010-09-18T12:21:27.696-07:002010-09-18T12:21:27.696-07:00Marie - I checked out your blog and it is so prett...Marie - I checked out your blog and it is so pretty - I need to figure out how to add pictures and motivating artwork to mine - yours is an inspiration. I like your overall attitude of reaching for the positives but allowing a little bit of griping in your life too!Widow in the Middlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-23980255722688183112010-09-18T12:18:45.911-07:002010-09-18T12:18:45.911-07:00Judy - I started the anti-anxiety med and for the ...Judy - I started the anti-anxiety med and for the first time in weeks don't feel my racing heart. I also feel more calm. I hate to be on this but I think the anxiety is contributing to the high blood pressure. Anyway, today is a better day but I plan on using the anti-anxiety pills only when necessary - I do not want to be taking them daily. I hate the roller coaster emotions too, but I figure I'm managing as well as I can. I try to divert myself with a walk or activity when I start to crash downward. As long as most of my days are up and I am functioning "normally," that beats the alternative of being in a depressive black hole, so I'm ahead.Widow in the Middlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-85357557656052527492010-09-18T08:27:39.143-07:002010-09-18T08:27:39.143-07:00Take the blood pressure meds!!! I've had it f...Take the blood pressure meds!!! I've had it for 20 years and keep it normal with the meds. I have been waking up each day and trying to find the positive too--you are right--it is a minute by minute thing. At noon I can be positive and by two o'clock, stuck in the doldrums. It's like my moods are on a slow moving roller coaster, up and down and up and down. Maybe there is a pill to keep them even? I WANT IT IF THERE IS, LOLJudyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-444871201058436582010-09-17T16:28:41.081-07:002010-09-17T16:28:41.081-07:00I read the comments before leaving mine. Boy, are...I read the comments before leaving mine. Boy, aren't people wonderful?!?<br /><br />What I was going to say was hang in there and I will keep you in my prayers. But what I want to add now is this: these comments confirm what I find in writing my blog. When I am at my lowest, when I feel completely overwhelmed at the idea of even getting out of bed, I am confronted with the fact I am surrounded by good, caring people who hold me up when I can't do it myself. And my therapist adds a footnote to that, insisting that these people love me because I am worth loving. A double whammy!! lol<br /><br />She takes it even further, reminding me that people love to feel needed as well, so don't be too quick to decline offers of help. <br /><br />I will keep up with your blog, I'm so glad I found it! Please feel free to contact me (my e-mail address is on my blog) if you would like to chat. I was widowed at 39, a long 18 years ago. <br /><br />Hang in there! :)Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10106720865034468249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-73710900546842225042010-09-17T15:40:08.446-07:002010-09-17T15:40:08.446-07:00I agree - it would be good to know how to reach yo...I agree - it would be good to know how to reach you. I've read your blog for awhile now, commented once or twice, and often thought that I wish I could send you some sort of "thinking of you" gift in the mail. <br /><br />JenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-18528950029684988192010-09-17T15:30:00.928-07:002010-09-17T15:30:00.928-07:00Just a thought and I don't know if you'd w...Just a thought and I don't know if you'd want to do something like this, but some of my favourite bloggers have set up things like their Amazon wish lists and even paypal "tip jars" on their blogs. I don't believe you have to give up any anonymity to do so. I can't speak for other readers of your blog, but I sure wouldn't mind if you did something like that or similar so we could show a little appreciation.bevhttp://magickcanoe.com/blog11noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-451102197889902712010-09-17T15:19:23.884-07:002010-09-17T15:19:23.884-07:00I'm with anonymous -- I wish there was another...I'm with anonymous -- I wish there was another way we could get in touch with you, to support you more, encourage you and for you to know there are those who care, even if we do not live close by. We do really care!BAKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05803604495540272613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-80434516694849468122010-09-17T14:48:49.379-07:002010-09-17T14:48:49.379-07:00Regardless of what you decide to do, you should pr...Regardless of what you decide to do, you should probably go ahead and begin taking medication to lower your blood pressure. You're already doing all of the physical things that should keep your BP low and if it's still high, well, maybe it's time for meds and then hope that, if you can reduce your stress levels later on, you'll be able to discontinue the meds. I have a few friends who have had to take meds too even though they are the last people you would expect to have that kind of problem, but they're under intense pressure too.<br /><br />As for the rest, those are all good strategies. Some seem practical and as though they could be employed immediately Some seem a little less so to me as I know you don't have a lot of control over your time, current work, etc... One that I think I would focus on might be to try to get out occasionally with people who like the same things you do. It could be something simple and low cost like joining a book club through the local library, or if you like walking, or nature, maybe join a walking, or a field naturalist club as many have walks at nature areas. It would be good to make a few friends who share some similar interests. Might lighten up your mood to have something to look forward to. Hope comes in all forms and sometimes it's just knowing that you'll have a relaxing hour or two with nice people once every couple of weeks.bevhttp://magickcanoe.com/blog11noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-19011166453569583522010-09-17T13:41:30.953-07:002010-09-17T13:41:30.953-07:00I've been following your blog for a while, and...I've been following your blog for a while, and I've wanted to help you in some small way.... but you have kept your anonymous identity quite anonymous, so there is no way for me to reach out to you and provide you with a small gesture. Is there an e-mail or something else you could share? I certainly get it...I'm anonymous too of course. --ARBAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com