tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post5450007249665237014..comments2024-03-06T03:23:51.904-08:00Comments on Surviving Middle-Aged Widowhood: A Gift and a CurseWidow in the Middlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-81491221603753672472009-11-05T19:52:19.165-08:002009-11-05T19:52:19.165-08:00wNs - Please don't think that your response wa...wNs - Please don't think that your response was not what I wanted or needed. I write for myself and if someone wants to comment that is fine. I appreciate and value all replies, whether they are in agreement with me or not. I am just trying to get a lot of old stuff out about my husband's death and this was one thought I had - a regret about what was important that was left unsaid. I continue to hope that maybe someone will read the post and not make the same mistake I did by avoiding talking about death. <br /><br />Sometimes when we post there isn't much that can be said - it is what it is - nothing I do now will change the past and all that. Sometimes it helps to just get it out (as you well know) and having someone listen is enough. So thank you as always for being there and listening!Widow in the Middlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-90710722661776376012009-11-05T19:10:46.971-08:002009-11-05T19:10:46.971-08:00i'm sorry i wasn't the one to offer what y...i'm sorry i wasn't the one to offer what you were looking for. my life was very different. i've always had to keep in touch with details. i photocopied files so i had back ups since the ex kept "his money" separate. tax files. the will. his hidden stocks. all of it. when i married my Dragon, we talked about everything. he still went out on missions when we first married and i needed to know things should he not return. we talked about what we wanted if one of us died. again, i am sorry i didn't have what you were looking for. i do understand what it's like to reach out yet not find answers or agreement.abandonedsoulshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06020499806998154330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-78703915672647303632009-11-05T18:32:22.445-08:002009-11-05T18:32:22.445-08:00wNs - I agree with you that we all look back with ...wNs - I agree with you that we all look back with regrets. I guess I was hoping that maybe someone will read this and remember it if they face a similar situation. The VERY FIRST thing I did immediately after my husband died was set up life ins. for the boys (if I die, they will each receive more on their own than I received for all of us together).<br /><br />thelmaz - Thank you for responding. I think my husband had similar beliefs to yours - that if he was still living normally, the cancer wouldn't get him. But if he acted like he was sick, it would. I look forward to viewing your blog.Widow in the Middlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-50329086591465406932009-11-05T14:26:52.168-08:002009-11-05T14:26:52.168-08:00I had a similar experience. My husband died of le...I had a similar experience. My husband died of leukemia. I think he believed if he didn't prepare for it, he wouldn't die. He did know at the end when the leukemia relapsed. We talked a little but perhaps not as much as we should have. (He also had a stem cell transplant but was hospitalized the last 7 months of his life. Thelma Z (see my blog at www.widowsphere.blogspot.comthelmazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09819557846762852247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-14868471638643871392009-11-05T06:04:00.659-08:002009-11-05T06:04:00.659-08:00it's hard to look back at what you should have...it's hard to look back at what you should have done. regrets can bring you to your knees. just plan the future for yourself but especially for your sons allowing for the "worst case scenario" so that no one will not know what to do.<br /><br />i've read this ever since you posted it and i just don't have any better thoughts than that. we all look back and wish. but now you can change what never happened into "now i can sleep a little better at night knowing everything is set."<br /><br />i wish you peace.abandonedsoulshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06020499806998154330noreply@blogger.com