tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post3169396791362350677..comments2024-03-06T03:23:51.904-08:00Comments on Surviving Middle-Aged Widowhood: Re-GiftingWidow in the Middlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-15706179762531212852009-12-28T06:28:31.716-08:002009-12-28T06:28:31.716-08:00Good luck to you!
www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage...Good luck to you!<br /><br />www.ashortguidetoahappymarriage.comsharongilohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12929499549064695949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-77509760098889823262009-12-26T21:19:03.168-08:002009-12-26T21:19:03.168-08:00Boo - It was worth the effort to get out and to fo...Boo - It was worth the effort to get out and to force myself to be social and "forget" my problems for the moment.<br /><br />Kelly - I think it is hard to start connecting with someone again because they are "second best," not the first choice which were our husbands. I don't know if that makes any sense. I still wish I could have my first choice and I wasn't in the position of having to "settle" for someone else. I know that probably sounds terrible. Maybe you could just start out by going to a social or mixer (no expectations - just to meet some new people male and female). Same thing for a date - just go out for the dinner, conversation and social aspect of it. Just to have fun. You can gauge your feelings from there. But you have to have a baseline to start. Anyway, that is all food for thought for the future.<br /><br />I think what I am having to face is that I'll never have what I had. And to go on with someone else will be different but that I'll have to accept that fact. And that is hard and not easy.<br /><br />Dan - You seem to be striking a good balance by working, getting out with the kids, shopping, decorating and celebrating for the holiday and so on.<br /><br />I wish us all peace and contemplation as we move ahead into 2010 and try to get on as well as we can.Widow in the Middlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-71660506814761374432009-12-26T19:37:02.664-08:002009-12-26T19:37:02.664-08:00Your post is very thought provoking. It really ha...Your post is very thought provoking. It really has me wondering how I will strike a balance between needing time alone, and venturing out to live. I know that these early days for some of us need to be spent alone, but I wonder when the isolation will become a problem. <br /><br />I wish you peaceful days ahead while you make such an important decision.Danhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02218009891182171803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-76534729017362431882009-12-26T17:37:55.202-08:002009-12-26T17:37:55.202-08:00I'm so glad you spent time with your friend. I...I'm so glad you spent time with your friend. I think sometimes if we force ourselves to do what we really don't want to do, in the end we are better for it. In reading your description of R I couldn't help but see glimpses of myself. Truthfully, it scared me. That is exactly the road I am on and if I don't do something to divert I will be alone until the day I die. After 3 years I just don't know how to make that change. I don't think I am emotionally ready to give to someone else but more so, I am not ready to receive from someone who isn't my husband. How do I change that? Can I change that?<br /><br />I find myself isolating frequently and yet, when I do force myself out as you did, in the end I am better for it. Yet, the very next time I find myself resisting again with vigor. It's like this cycle I don't know how to break. <br /><br />I am looking forward to the New Year when the holidays will be behind us and I can return to the mundane everyday routines. <br /><br />I am looking forward to your insights regarding your upcoming decision. Your insights, no matter what the subject matter, always seem to hit home with me. Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.<br /><br />KellyKellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08967278323581039367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-738048378012755564.post-64439389127446782532009-12-26T16:45:04.307-08:002009-12-26T16:45:04.307-08:00I'm glad you spent the day with friends and yo...I'm glad you spent the day with friends and your sons, it's a shame that Sam couldn't celebrate with you though ... and I am sad that you have to make this difficult choice, esp. over the holidays ... I'll be waiting for your upcoming posts :-)Boohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10695496303699631884noreply@blogger.com